Never give up on finding love after 60 - finding love in remote West Texas
The June 5, 2015, On Life and Love After 50 newsletter featured a new widower, Larry, who wrote, “I am still trying to restart my life; my wife of 40 years died of lung cancer in early February (2015). I am coming to terms with my new reality, slowly, and have decided that living alone for x number of years is not for me.
“My problem is that I live in a very small town in a rural area of West Texas, and consequently, my prospects here of meeting someone are virtually nonexistent.
“Moreover, I cannot move as I am doing my best to preserve my daughter’s inheritance, including a ranch, house, etc. I’ve looked at online dating/matching sites and have been less than impressed with the way they operate. I have told some close friends of my intention to get back into dating and hope they may eventually be able to help.
“As it stands now, I honestly don’t see any practical way of meeting someone who would be remotely interesting. Finding love in a small town is like finding a needle in a haystack.
“I am just wondering if I’ve overlooked other options, angles, etc. I am 63, but feel 43, am a retired US Army officer, a volunteer firefighter, have one adult, married daughter. Would appreciate your advice as I feel like I have hit a wall.”
I responded to Larry and recommended he should not give up internet dating. When a person lives in a remote area, the internet becomes an important search tool. Living remotely requires internet to find love.
I also suggested he work something out with his daughter so he could get away from the ranch and maybe live in a bigger city like Dallas or Houston where his chances of meeting a mate would improve significantly.
I mentioned to Larry that his wife had only been gone for four months and that was a little soon to be out there dating. Approximately six of our women Champs corresponded with Larry, but nothing became of those contacts.
Update August 7, 2017
Last week, Larry sent an update on his situation: “Remember me? I was the guy hoping for a new relationship after wife’s death.
“I was about to quit the dating website, ‘Farmersonly.com,’ but opted for one last search. I extended the range of my search and found Ellen in Oklahoma on July 13, 2016. She had been divorced since 2002 and was about to become an empty-nester and was looking for a new start.
“After about a month of phone calls and texting, I went to Oklahoma to see if this was viable. Got lost in Tulsa and had a tire blow out. She had to come rescue me and it went from there.
“But since my daughter had a deep emotional connection to the old house/museum I live in (in our family for generations), and since Ellen wanted a place of her own, I was initially caught on the horns of a new dilemma.
“Solution: I persuaded my daughter to deed me the vacant city block behind the old house, and now Ellen and I are about to close a deal on a new manufactured home, which will go behind the old house. Problem solved.
“My daughter is happy that she will be able to keep the old house and Ellen and I get our fresh start but can still guard the old place for my daughter. Moreover, Ellen loves this little town!
“She transferred from her old store in Oklahoma and has a better job (with the same corporate employer) in a small town, 30 miles east of here.
“And, I am still a retired soldier, who fights fires on occasion. She is 53; I am 65. We married July 13, 2017 (exactly one year to the day of meeting).”
Larry’s story reminds us that even when meeting someone seems not remotely possible, like it’s never going to happen, we should never give up. It might just be the next person you correspond with who becomes a great friend or mate.
Ellen and Larry met online July 13, 2016; married July 13, 2017. Live in remote West Texas