Searching for a marriage-minded male
Part One -Searching for a marriage-minded man
This week, an email arrived in my inbox from Barbara, who wrote, “I want to know what is the best online dating website for a woman in her 50’s to meet a marriage-minded male?” Wow, I thought, a senior marriage-minded man. That is all she wrote, hardly enough information for me to help her—so, I responded, “I cannot say there is a ‘best’ website to meet a marriage-minded male. There is no specific place, of which I am aware, where marriage-minded men go to try to find a mate. “I think your priority should be to seek just a nice single man who is somewhat close to your age. Don't push the marriage bit too much. Might scare off some of the men. Many single, older men I know don’t want to remarry, but they would like to have a mate. “You might try Match, Senior People Meet, or Plenty of Fish. But, be VERY, VERY careful with internet dating. There are lots of scammers out there trying to take advantage of women who are looking for love and especially marriage. And once you contact these sites, and get on their email list, they will hound you like crazy. “May I ask, what are you doing currently to meet people? Do you belong to groups? Do you meet new people by getting out and getting involved with activities you enjoy? “Tell me a little more about you and how long you've been single and in what part of the country you live. I can likely help you get aimed in the right direction, but I need to know more. “Don't put all your eggs in the internet-dating basket. "To learn how 58 couples (there are eight bonus stories hence the number 58) over age 50 met, you might want to check out the book, How 50 Couples Found Love After 50. I wrote this book for two primary reasons: (1) To encourage older, mature singles that love can happen after age 50, and, (2) To show singles where and how 58 couples found love.
You can order the hardcover or digital edition of the book at Amazon.com, but if you would like a personalized hardcover copy, at a lesser price, email me and we will discuss ordering details. In the book, there are two couples who rushed into marriage. They didn’t know each other well. Results? Both divorced and the divorces were not pretty. So, keep your marriage motivation in check. Barbara responded, “I am mainly using the internet to meet a man. I used to go to singles events and found them not helpful. I went to dating services and they did not help either. I did Meetup.com singles events and they were not helpful. I live in New York City and it just feels so hard to meet this man. “I have a graduate degree and am very selective looks-wise. I am very caring, have a good sense of humor. My interests are comedy clubs, photography, animals, music, museums... “Please let me know if you have any idea what I should do. I have never been married and that is why it is important for me to be. I want a life partner.” Tom’s answer to Barbara: “Love can happen in NYC. I met my first wife there. Not on the Internet, which wasn’t even in existence then. Instead, I met her because I was willing to get out of my East 63rd Street apartment (at 1st Avenue); I didn’t even leave the building. “I went to the basement where the clothes washers and dryers were located to run a load of clothes, and saw an attractive woman there. When she left the washer room, she left her box of detergent. Thinking quickly, I ran after her to return the box. We chatted and decided to date. She was a Pan Am flight attendant. “I did not marry her, but she introduced me to another Pan Am flight attendant friend (they were called stewardesses in those days), thinking her friend and I would be a better match. We were, and we married, at the Episcopal Church World Headquarters, at 815 2nd Avenue, near Grand Central Station. Granted, we were younger than age 50. Still, it can happen there. “The point of my anecdote is that getting out and meeting new people can lead to finding a mate. Instead of focusing on meeting a marriage-minded male at singles events and on the internet, I think your chances of meeting a nice man are better at events related to your interests—comedy clubs, photography classes, volunteer at animal shelters, music events and museum events. Do as many of those things as you can where you will be meeting new, like-mindedpeople. “And I suggest you subscribe to this complimentary newsletter. We have some Champs who live in NYC; you might make new friends this way. Don’t just focus on meeting men. Make new women friends with whom you can attend events. “And one last thing that is a red flag: you say, ‘I am very selective looks-wise.’ “Is that why you never married? You couldn’t find anybody good looking enough for you? Back off on the looks, and seek someone who is kind, considerate, and who treasures you. You just might find the gem for whom you are looking. “Will he be a marriage-minded male? Maybe not at first. But once he gets to know you, he might just change his mind.” Tom’s comment: Barbara joined our group and is reading this newsletter as a new Champ today. If you’d like to contact her, email me and I will forward the email to her.
Part 2 – Mannheim Steamroller concert - Sunday, December 3, 2017, Segerstrom Performing Arts Center On Sunday night, Greta and I attended a Mannheim Steamroller Christmas concert at the Segerstrom Center, in Costa Mesa, California, a glorious concert hall. Mannheim Steamroller is the number-one Christmas music artist in history. Chip Davis, a 1969 University of Michigan music school graduate, founded the group in 1974. Christmas album sales have exceeded $28 million. There are two separate Steamroller troupes performing in 90 cities each year. If you ever get a chance to attend a performance, go. They are a little loud, so, if your ears are sensitive or you have tinnitus, take earplugs along. Their music and the unique sound are staggeringly great. Here is a link to Deck The Halls, one of my favorite Christmas carols they perform: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEHzYjuf5NA
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