Will this senior marriage last?
This week, I received an email from Champ Karen in Michigan, saying she had kept a copy of the October 25, 2013, newsletter on her computer home screen. The title: “Rebuilding Trust After Being Dumped Takes Time.” She sent a copy to help me recall it.
Karen said, “I thought it was good advice. Has this marriage survived? (I hope so).”
I found it amazing that Karen had kept the article on her home screen for three and a half years. And I recalled it vividly.
It was about Trent from Utah whose second wife, after seven years of marriage, had rented a moving truck and taken off with about 80 percent of the items in their house to be with a previous boyfriend in another state. Trent had found out about the moving truck from a neighbor’s phone call, when he was away on a business trip.
The article explained how Trent had bounced back from that incident, eventually meeting Rachelle, a California woman online, having a long-distance relationship with her, and then marrying her in September 2013.
Why did I recall the story so vividly? Two reasons: (1) What happened to Trent was similar to what happened to me. My wife of six years had rented a truck and cleaned out my house as well. (2) I remember the sweet picture of Trent and Rachelle that was included in the article.
Rachelle and Trent
Trent had initially contacted me in November 2012. He said he began reading the newsletter in 2011 when he was in his early 50s. He’s been a contributing Champ for six years, including this past January.
Trent read in the January 12, 2017, newsletter that I was contemplating a Volume II, follow-up book to “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50.” He emailed: “Fast forward several years to today: Rachelle and I now live in San Diego and we are happier than we deserve!
“I seriously have to sort of thank my ex (for bailing out) because I feel like I won the love lottery. I would be happy to help in any way I can with a potential book about couples finding love after 50. I've been so blessed, the least I can do is pay it back by lifting the spirit of someone else who may be doubting they can find love and companionship in their later life.”
To answer Karen’s “Has this marriage survived?” question, I shared Trent’s above comments with her.
She said, “I have referred to the article whenever things started to feel a little hopeless. After my husband died, when I finally found a senior group to join, it looked like it was made up of about 500 women and five married men. So, I relaxed and started to enjoy class for the learning experience.
“Lo and behold, right after that, a handsome senior gentleman who attended a lot of my classes introduced himself and asked me out (I verified that he was a widower).
“It is too soon to know if it will blossom into something more, but it is spring in Michigan and everything else is blossoming! So, I am pleased to hear that Trent and Rachelle are happy!”
Then, I shared Karen’s comments with Trent and Rachelle.
They responded: “We live in San Diego currently and my children and grandchildren live in Salt Lake City. We bought a house in St. George, Utah, just over the Utah border, about 90 minutes north of Las Vegas.
“It is six hours to San Diego and four hours to Salt Lake City and the housing prices are half of what we are paying for homes in California and 30 percent less than in Salt Lake City or Las Vegas. And best of all, the rental market there is booming; we had 30-plus applicants to rent our home even before we closed on it.”
They provided this updated photo.
Three lessons jump out from today’s article:
- Even when relationships go bad, and all hope is gone, seniors should never give up on meeting someone. It can happen, we just don’t know when
- Married people read this column. They are particularly valuable because most are willing to share what they have learned regarding relationships and some say they never want to stop learning
- Our group of Champs numbers close to 2,000. We are from all over the USA and in many foreign countries. We are single, divorced, married and never married. We are a loyal bunch, reaching out to help each other by sharing our experiences and information. Many have been with us for several years. They often call themselves Tom Blake's Champs.
Thanks to all our Champs—who never cease to amaze me.
And the October 25, 2013, can be read on the Finding Love After 50 Website. Follow this link and then scroll the 2013 posts and then go to October 25 article. Let me know if you have questions.