Does age difference matter in senior dating?
Does an age difference in senior dating matter?
It is gratifying to watch our subscriber list grow. Welcome new members. I call us Champs. Why? Because that’s what we are. We’ve made it to age 50, 60, 70, 80, and even 90+. That by itself is remarkable. For many, the road has been rocky at times. Plus, adding in the knowledge each one of us has gained from life’s experiences, and the willingness to share it with everyone in our group--makes us super Champs. Older man dating younger woman, does age difference matter in senior dating? Ben is a Champ willing to share his story. He said, “I am an Arkansas guy in love with a California girl. I am 77 and my lady Janice is 68; we both read your newsletters with much interest. We plan to make our marriage plans on July 15th of this year, my birthday. "We are both very concerned about our age difference, therefore, your newsletters provide us with much insight. What do you think about the age difference?” I asked Ben for more details. He responded: “I was born in El Dorado, Arkansas. I left home for college, the University of Arkansas, at age 17. I was a ROTC cadet and was commissioned in the Air Force shortly after graduation. I am a retired Air Force colonel. I was widowed and living in Southern California, when one day I stopped at a Starbucks in Anaheim Hills. I was sitting there with a cappuccino and Janice walked in and that changed my life forever. “She ordered a coffee and turned around and I spoke to her. after an hour of conversation, I asked her to meet for dinner the next Saturday at the Rusty Pelican, in Newport Beach. We had three dinner dates in May, 2016, before I left to visit my daughters in Virginia and Arkansas. “I returned to California on the 1st of August and we have been together ever since. Janice is the love of my life. “We spent last week in New York and saw three Broadway shows: Hamilton, the Phantom of the Opera and the Great Comet of 1812 with Josh Gorban, one of Janice's favorite performers. “We are talking and planning a life together. We have agreed that we will set the marriage date and place on July 15, my 78th birthday. We are living in Anaheim now but, will be moving to my new home in Hot Springs Village, Arkansas in the fall. Janice is still working and considering retirement this September/October when we marry. Tom’s response: My feeling is at 77, you, and at 68, Janice, should not worry about the age difference. You most likely will pass first, maybe not, but so what? Why not enjoy these years together? You have found the love of your life—enjoy the relationship every minute of every day. An issue bigger than the age difference is the change of lifestyle, primarily for Janice. Will she be happy not working? Will she be happy living in Arkansas? You didn’t mention if Janice has been to Arkansas with you. Also, since you plan to marry, you both need to agree regarding all legal matters. I suggest both consult attorneys, so both sides are equally represented. And then ensure the agreement is in writing. The biggest issue that can cause difficulty with couples is financial, especially if there are children and grandchildren in the mix. The nine-year age difference in your case is almost a non-issue. If two people love each other, and have a wide age difference (even much, much wider than yours), the relationship can still work nicely—if they honestly discuss and address the age-difference issues, particularly regarding children, financial issues, potential health problems and legal issues. Communication in all relationships is critical, and with you two, particularly so.
Responses by readers to this "Does age difference matter in senior dating?" On Life and Love After 50 Newsletter article.
Marta, Montreal, said, “To each his own, just don't grow a ratty gray pony-tail and date an 18-year-old, then you look stupid!” Terry Lee, “Regarding financials, lots and lots of problems with everybody when financials are not discussed, written down, and yes, for sure, each meet with each’s own financial person.” Robin, “It has more to do with maturity level in each party. Age shouldn’t have much to do with the dating equation, unless you have one person underage, by law standards.”
Mary Lou, “It is very important to get independent legal advice, and get a prenup in writing. That will ease the minds of the children and make for a much less stressful life, plus they will both be protected in the event things go south.