Bouncing back from a spouse leaving
Bouncing Back from spouse leaving It’s funny how column topics come about. Last week, I shared an email I had received from Champ Jessie in Oregon. In that email, Jessie was quoted as saying she was single for 15 years before she and Paul found each other. Then she said, “If you ever do a Volume 2 to your “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book, I’d be happy to be interviewed, and I’m sure my guy would too.” That paragraph elicited several responses from Champs offering to have their stories of finding love after 50 included in a book I hadn’t even thought about writing. Can you believe 10 Champ couples said they would want to be included? That’s 20 percent already. Two of the responses came from men whose wives left them after several years of being married. Not only did those men bounce back, they found love that has them pinching themselves with happiness. Glen, Huntington Beach, California, said, “A few years back, you featured my story about how my wife (high school sweetheart, married 23+ years), out-of-the-blue abruptly left me in 2008 and filed for divorce, shortly after I retired from 30 years in law enforcement. “My divorce was the divorce from Hell. My ex put me through 39 months of litigation over nothing (no minor children, no business, no off-shore bank accounts, etc.) Why she did what she did is and always will be a mystery, but I don’t dwell on it anymore."
Finding Love After Divorce Glen added: “In 2009, I met Cheryl, a teacher in Orange County. We’ve been living together since 2010. I am beyond blessed to have found Cheryl and thank God every day for her love and devotion.” And Glen said to count him in if there is a Volume 2 to 50 Couples. The second man, Trent, emailed, “You and I corresponded several years ago when I first found your online newsletter. I’m the fellow who—like you—had the unfortunate experience of having an ex clean out my house and take off with another man while I was out of town. “I have to sort of thank my ex because I feel like I won the love lottery. I now live in San Diego and Rachelle and I are happier than we deserve. We met while I was on a business trip to California, and after a year of long-distance dating, we were married. “If you ever write a volume 2 of your How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book, I would be happy to have you include our story. I’ve been so blessed; the least I can do is pay it back by lifting the spirt of someone else who may be doubting they can find love and companionship in their later life.” To clarify Trent’s comment about my ex-wife cleaning out my house and taking off with another man (on Christmas Eve, 1993), the former happened but I don’t think she left for another man; I never got an explanation. And I don’t mention that happening much anymore because she’s had so much adversity in life since then, I can’t even comprehend what she’s been through. Like Trent, I have to sort of thank her because what she did in leaving launched my writing career 23 years ago, and, it also opened the door for Greta to enter my life 19 years ago. Similar to Cheryl, Greta was a teacher in Orange County. Men and women singles can learn from Glen’s and Trent’s stories and to a lesser extent my story. When a spouse leaves without notice, it can be devastating, life-changing and mighty bleak when it first happens. I know of someone who falls into that category currently. But, in time, both men and women pick themselves up and dust themselves off. Love can return and often, the new love is much better than the previous situation; it’s like a blessing. Bouncing back often arises out of adversity. Now, about that book I hadn’t even thought about writing, a volume 2 of How 50 Couples Found Love After 50. If I decide to do it, 10 couples-- including Jessie, Glen and Trent--have already offered their stories. That leaves 40 more couples. That doesn’t count other Champ couples we’ve written about, whom I suspect would like to have their stories included. If so, I’d like to hear from them at firstname.lastname@example.org. With so much enthusiasm from Champs, writing that book could become a reality. Mel, a Champ, age 70, single 15 years, said, “Go ahead with the new book. Need some help?” He added, “If you have readers in Fairfield County, Connecticut, I’d love to hear from them.” Email me and I will forward them to Mel. As I said at the beginning, it’s funny how column topics evolve. Some weeks, I just never know from where they are coming and this was one of those weeks. And it reminds me that you Champs are one heck of a great group of people.
A similar article appeared in the Dana Point Times newspaper