A young woman dating a wealthy older man claims the money doesn’t matter. Really?
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
Here's a bit of a change-of-pace topic today. I need your help responding to this young woman's email.
She wrote, "I recently read your article (on the Finding Love After 50 website) in which you incorporated the reactions that older women had to the idea of men their age looking for younger partners."
She continued, "While, as an attorney and not a social scientist, I am not qualified to comment on wide-spread trends, I take offense at the assumption by you that a younger woman dating an older man is always either a gold-digger or a silly tart who is unwilling to take care of the needs of her older counter-part."
Comment from Tom: This story is about a young woman dating a wealthy older man. It always amazes me that women dating considerably older men spend time researching this topic. And then they feel compelled to write to take issue with my stance. I have never written a newspaper article on older men dating younger women where I didn't hear from at least one younger woman involved with an older guy. And their responses always sound similar.
She continued, "I am 25; my boyfriend is 40. I never planned on dating an older man. In fact, except for him, my boyfriends have always been very close in age to me. However, I met him and was immediately smitten. He is, admittedly, wealthy. However, I am independently wealthy myself and also possess high-earning capacity, having recently earned my law degree. The money plays no role in my desire for him."
Tom: Wow. He's wealthy but his money plays no role because she's also wealthy. And she's a lawyer and a little full of herself. The question begs to be asked: why is someone 25-years-old who possesses high-earning power spending time on page 353 (strictly a page-number guess) of the Finding Love After 50 web site? A web site intended for people twice her age?
She continued: "I date him because I care for him.
Tom: (that's a unique concept).
She: "I am attracted to him. He treats me better than any other man has ever treated me. He pays attention to me. I don't have to play games with him to hold his attention (i.e. pretending like I don't like him so that he will like me)."
Tom: You've got to hand it to this 25-year-old. At least she's mature, having left childish games behind—well, sort of.
She: "If the relationship works out and I hope it will, I will happily care for him as he ages. My motive for dating my 40-year-old boyfriend is the same motive I had for dating my twenty-something boyfriends: I love him."
I wrote back to her. "What we don't know is, if he were not wealthy, would you care as much? But since he is wealthy, we won't ever know the answer. And, of course, you being wealthy, clouds the issue also. You two may be a perfect match, two rich peas in a wealthy pod."
I mentioned a couple of other things to her in my reply but didn't get a response. Perhaps she had to go to her law office to work.
What I'm hoping is that some of you might want to add your two cents. We can put together a nice package of comments from the over-50 crowd and send it off to her.
Older men dating younger women always stirs the pot.