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Widower is a model for all Champs -The Sands of Time


“GOOD SATURDAY EVENING, TOM” was the subject line of an email I received this past Saturday night.


The email read, “A widow who has been networked to me via my grief counselor wanted to read my poem The Sands of Time on your web site. She just called me to tell me it was not available. Has the poem been deleted?”


The email was signed, “Dave Southworth.”


Dave has been a Champ before Champs were called Champs. I have known him via email—we have never met in person--since 2002. After he had been widowed, he wrote a poem called The Sands of Time, which he shared with me. I was so moved by the poem I asked if he’d like it posted to my website. He said yes; it’s been viewed thousands of times since then.


Dave and I shared an added bond: he lives in Clare, Michigan, and I grew up in Jackson, Michigan.


On Sunday, I wrote back to Dave: “Here is what is going on with theFinding Love After 50 website. Four years ago, my website designer bailed on me and refused to give me the passwords so I could no longer edit the site—couldn’t add to it or delete from it or update the site’s links. The site went from being the top-searched site for the keywords Finding Love After 50 on Google to falling to Google’s page two. I held on to the site because the domain name is worth a lot. Because I could no longer edit the site may be why your poem page likely disappeared.


“Three weeks ago, I asked Alex, my new web guy to completely rebuild the Finding Love After 50 site, which is what he is doing. Your poem will be included. He may have removed the pages for the time being. I would never allow a poem as touching as The Sands of Time to slip through the cracks.”


Dave responded: “Since you posted my poem in December, 2002, I have referred numerous women and men who are widowed and experiencing barriers in their journey to healing to your website. It has been 14 years since we were first connected through Phoebe Oshriak, who remains a close friend.”


During those 14 years, several widows and widowers have told me how helpful Dave has been to them in their journey through their grief. He’s got a warm heart and a gentle spirit.


This past Monday morning, I checked for the poem on Finding Love After 50. It was still there! I was quite excited and wrote Dave.


“Found the poem, here is the link:

I asked Dave how he is doing, and asked for his permission to write about him in the newsletter.


Dave replied, “It would be an honor to appear in your weekly newsletter.

I was remembering several years ago when you asked me to write a newsletter article describing numerous interesting, actually hilarious dates with ladies from a dating site...and the rush of emails I received.


I use the word honor because 14 years ago I lost the love of my life;

10 years ago I beat prostate cancer and am cancer free; a year and a half  ago, I beat diabetes; one year ago this month, I won a battle with a heart attack, a heart attack that should have taken my life.


“Yet here I am today, disgustingly healthy, with my six-month nuclear stress test results being that of a 55-year-old man. What saved my life was I am blessed with a very strong heart muscle (Dave mentioned that he does 160 push-ups each day as a part of his exercise routine).


“I still live at my lake home with my kitty Miss Annie. I have several lady friends. However, I have not been blessed with a special lady.


“I restarted two books, am still writing poetry, periodic client work squeezed in between early morning kayaking with the loons singing their morning song, fly fishing, 5 children, 11 grandchildren, 9 great grandchildren. Yes, life is really good, Tom.


“God is not through with me yet. It is an honor for me to be what

HE wants me to be, all I can be. In one way or another, we are all models of life living.


Dave’s email:

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