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Visiting Too Many Bars

By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50

Last week, I asked for your opinion about the Orange County, CA. woman who had been on 50 dates, visited every bar in OC, and got bored with all of the men after two or three dates. Fifty of you responded with great emails, many of which will be featured in today's newsletter. Thanks for participating.

Regarding the Orange County, California, woman who can't find Mr. Wonderful, here's what many of you said.

Vincent, who resides in Puerto Rico, wrote, "She is the one who turns the guys away, lots of us still work and cannot take off for a week to go places every three months. If she said this to me on the first or second date, I'd be gone too!!"

Francesca emailed, "Most 45-55-year-old rich Mr. Wonderfuls are, unfortunately, not looking for an age-50 partner. The sad truth is these men are generally shopping in the 28-to-35-year-old market where a woman of 48 cannot compete, no matter how many "procedures" she's had. She's too self-absorbed.

Barbara said, "The lady is trying too hard (many of you said that). She should find ways to enjoy herself with friends. Usually, when you are enjoying yourself and doing things you enjoy, when you least expect it, you find someone wonderful."

Katy wrote, "She sounds very high-maintenance to me. She's looking for someone to meet her needs and take care of her every whim."

The usually outspoken George, from Arkansas, didn't disappoint: "Looking for the myth of Mr. Wonderful is a textbook case of hubris. There is no help for this women. People are always interested in what another can provide for them and never mention what they can do for someone else. It's better known as a lack of humility."

Yolanda suggested, "I think she sabotages every possible relationship because she is afraid to be in a relationship. She needs to see a therapist."

Another woman, Cari, suggested she take a break from dating. "She's putting way too much pressure on herself, especially with the freaking-out over that 50th birthday."

"That chick needs a readjustment in attitude," said Bobbie.

Men responded. Richard wrote, "The lady seeking Mr. Wonderful has described a man who pretty much as everything he needs to be content with himself and to be highly desired by the general female population. If she is to cause him to want her for his own, permanent, exclusive partner, then she has to offer something that isn't available anywhere else."

Pam emailed, "She sounds desperate, and quite in love with herself. I'm sure men can sense her self-love and desperation. Who wants that?

Kitty didn't mince words, regarding scouring the bars searching for Mr. Wonderful, "If you go to a pig farm expect some stink. I bought some dogs for companionship and called it (dating) a day."

Again, thanks to all who took the time to email. So much great material came in, I will likely use some of it in other columns. You are a remarkable group of individuals.

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