top of page

Senior dating can be difficult

By Tom P Blake

Many seniors hesitate to get out there and date. Why? Some haven't had a date in 30 years and don't know what to do or where to go.

Plus there aren't many places for older singles to go where the women don't outnumber the men, usually by a wide margin. At age 70, available single women outnumber available single men by about 3 and a half to one. By being more assertive (not aggressive), women can effectively reduce the ratio and improve their chances of meeting a mate.

Singles need to get off the couch and out of the house to improve their chances of meeting a potential mate. Some don't want to because it takes time, energy and money. Staying home is comfortable, but it also can be depressing and lonely.

Don’t be overly eager to meet a mate

When a person's main motivation in life is to meet a mate, and that's the reason they get out of the house, he or she will come off as needy and desperate, which is a turnoff. Besides, we always hear of people meeting a mate when they aren't looking.

Singles - men and women - need to be approachable. While each person may handle this differently, the common thread of approachability is friendliness and a smile, and even a shy person can do that.

The Internet can be an effective mate-seeking tool for people age 50+. But when meeting strangers, one must be extra careful. There are many people out there lurking with evil intentions who could take advantage of naïve and unsuspecting singles.

Yolanda emailed and asked, "If a man invites a lady to dinner, why wouldn't he pay? After all, he has the pleasure of her company. And if there's some compatibility, wouldn't this be part of the courting?"

Response, "Yes, the man should pay if he asks a woman out. But if they start dating on a regular basis, she should be prepared to share in the expenses. Some women have a problem with that concept.

The most important point I often stress is that senior singles need to get involved in activities and make new friends. It’s just too easy to stay home. Plus, they need to get their bodies moving, which is good for one’s health.

Reader comments and Tom's responses

Sandra: "Men who say it's a great idea for women to pay aren't always comfortable when it happens." Response: Trust me. When a woman occasionally offers to pay, most men appreciate it.

Char: "Why would a woman go on a date and pay her own way when she could go out with a girlfriend, pay her own way and have more fun?"

Response: Why would she go out with a guy in the first place if she didn't enjoy being with him?

Mary: "Women of my generation expect the man to pay. However, today's mores dictate otherwise." Response: Women's roles have changed, thank heaven, and that includes in the dating arena as well.

bottom of page