Why Newsletter Subscribers are called Champs
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
This week, a woman asked, "Why do you call us Champs?"
I said, "Because that's what you are to me."
As I read the responses to last week's newsletter--the one in which men aired their dating frustrations--I was reminded multiple times why "Champs" is such an appropriate description of the men and women who subscribe to this newsletter. There were so many sage comments that I can't even begin to include them all. Some will appear in future issues. Several of those comments follow:
Judie, Indiana, has a dog. Last week, Scott commented, "Wondering why women display their hyper little dogs in their profiles..."
Scott's comment hit home with Judie, making her say 'ouch.' "Guilty as charged," she said, "I need to focus more on that I'm a single woman who, among other things, has a dog" (and not make the dog such a big deal).
Jon, Olympia, Washington, showed why he's a Champ: "I retired onJuly 1 and am busy with animal rescue and pursuing some scientific interests. Despite several college degrees, I am going back to school this fall to study computer systems."
Anybody who rescues animals is a Champ. Jennie, Oklahoma, is also involved in animal rescue. Also, Jon's going back to college keeps the brain working.
Jon also said, "Online dating can weed out someone incompatible--a smoker or drinker--but it can't replace meeting face-to-face. The best person for you might be the complete opposite of what you put in your profile. You just have to crank through a lot of them to find the right ones."
Jennie also made a gold-star, Champ-worthy comment in responding to men who demand someone thinner: "I am more than my belly. I had four kids. Women get a belly from having babies; walking a mile a day, swimming, or mowing three acres a week, doesn't get rid of it."
Another reason I call you Champs is the positive attitudes so many of you have. Sue, 59, uses three dating websites and has worked with a dating coach. She said, "I'm still looking and I live in one of the most populated areas of the country, New Jersey! I have no plans to give up; I'm a relationship kind of girl, just looking for my relationship kind of guy, who will light my fire."
Never giving up. That's what we love to hear.
Several Champs commented about singles who haven't met a mate and their need to stop whining. Marta, Montreal, said, "These men come across as whiners, just like a lot of the women who complain about the men. Nobody promised you a life partner, or, that other people would make you happy. Make YOURSELF happy and forget about others and you will ATTRACT somebody great for you. This is how it works; it worked for me."
Nancy, from where I live, San Clemente, California, said, "One thing I notice from both the men and women is they tend to blame their lack of success on the other gender. Whether widowed or divorced, each person has to first examine themselves inside and out before they enter the dating world to see where they might need some 'refurbishment.'
"Wouldn't you fix up your house before putting it on the market? Even though you (or your spouse) were able to live with the dripping faucet, loose drawer knobs or sticking doors that you ignored over time, doesn't mean it is attractive to new eyes. Ask yourself, seriously, would you want to date you? Then fix yourself first, starting with your attitude."
Another theme that came from last week's responses centered around Facebook. I had a lot of comments from people who saw the newsletter on Facebook, which had not happened before. It seems more and more singles check out a person's Facebook page to learn what that person is really like, and what that person's friends say about her. (Remember, when you post all of those pictures of you and beloved Rover, potential mates are looking at your Facebook page. And for sure, no kissing of your dog in a photograph. Something to keep in mind.
A final comment on why I call you Champs. A couple of years ago, I was looking for a word to adequately describe our members, feeling that words such as "subscribers," "readers," and even "members" were too boring and didn't do justice to the quality of people who are in this group. I had noted that sports talk-show host Jim Rome called his listeners "clones," which I thought was demeaning. I wanted something more positive.
Then, while listening to one of my favorite songs, "The Load-out/Stay," recorded live in London in 1978, by Jackson Browne, the word came to me. In that song, Browne pays tribute to the Roadies, the term he uses to describe the people who set up the stage for his concerts, and then tear it down afterwards, and move the equipment to another town. He respects them highly. He sings: "When it comes to moving me, you know you guys are the Champs..." and that was it. That's where the word Champs came from. Here's the YouTube link:
Jackson Browne - The Load Out / Stay - Live 1978
Part 2 - International Champs speak up
Irene, Australia, "I haven't found anything on Australian websites that talk about the 65s and over. It has been nine years since my wonderful husband died at age 64. I have met five men since then, none that I could have maintained a relationship with. I wonder where the men are. Is the situation the same as in the states?"
Answer to Irene from Tom: Not exactly the same but similar. By reading the newsletters, you will get a feel for how things are here.
Zoe, United Kingdom, commented on the Beethoven concert referenced last week, "Isn't the 2nd movement of Beethoven's 7th sublime! The Chinese call Beethoven the Holy Musician, said his music was outside time, is eternal. Beethoven's music was banned through the Revolution and communism. Students in Tiananmen Square played Ode to Joy (9th symphony, fourth movement) as the tanks rolled (ditto at the fall of the Berlin Wall).