Internet dating for senior women can be frustrating. But, it only takes one person who is compatible, interested and willing to share.
By Tom P Blake Finding Love After 50
After reading personal dating ads on Craig's List and in her local newspapers, Karen--not her true name--decided to post a personal ad to see what kind of responses she'd get. She's in her late 60s and lives near a large, northern Midwestern city.
Her ad read: "Looking for active guy (over 60+) who isn't dating his motorcycle, old restored car, or his hunting/fishing shack.
"I am very active, enjoy romance, love, and having fun, work 35+ hours a week, but have time to enjoy a gentleman who would like to cook dinner together, and then cuddle and watch a dvd with a glass of wine. Care to join me?"
Karen had 29 replies, which she describes:
"One from a widower and one from a divorced guy-neither ready to date
-Three from younger guys who wanted to date an older lady and one who was married "only for financial reasons"
-Two who commented they liked the ad and six who just wanted to talk--but they talked too much--about little that mattered to Karen
-Two who smoked and nine who wanted to know how soon we would have sex"
Karen met two of the men for lunch. She said, "One wanted to meet quickly. He was looking for a cook, housekeeper and a place to live.
"The second was a gentleman; his dear wife had passed away two years ago. He had a hard time having lunch with me and kept talking about his wife. He was not ready to move on, nor will be for some time, I am thinking many years."
Karen ran another ad with an emphasis on becoming friends first. Ten men responded, all wanted only to talk--but not about dating.
And yet from another ad, five older men who responded were looking for one-night stands, and 12 men younger than her sons were also looking for sex.
She tried one last ad, which resulted in a lunch date.
Karen said, "At a business sort of restaurant, he couldn't keep his hands to himself. During the entrée, he said he was married and wasn't getting enough sex at home.
"When I told him I didn't date married men, he said he would change my mind. I went to the restroom and left him waiting for me to return. I went back to work, so much for trying ads."
I can't blame Karen for being discouraged. But, there is always hope and singles need to remember that it only takes that one person who is compatible, interested and willing to share.
Also, Craig's List is not likely the best place to run a personal ad. Our members have had success on match.com, eharmony.com and a host of specialized sites such as J-Date and Catholic Singles.
Hats off to Karen for trying. She shouldn't give up; one of these days her luck will change. Maybe she'll find a north woods guy willing to abandon his fishing shanty--at least for long enough to have a date with her.