Men say senior dating is difficult. Finding a suitable mate is a challenge for both sexes.
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
Last week's column about Karen, mid 60s, who advertised unsuccessfully for dates on Craig's List, brought comments from single senior men that men find senior dating difficult as well.
Peter said, "I am 64, have been divorced for 11 years and am still solo. This is not a complaint but a reality check for people getting back into the dating scene in their 50's and later. I have dated and met some lovely women, just not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with."
Peter discussed the dating sites I had suggested. "Craig's List is not a serious dating site, more for the hard cases and those looking for fantasy fulfillment, mostly the younger crowd looking for a quick hook-up.
"I tried e-Harmony and absolutely hated it, had trouble getting my info deleted, once I decided it was not for me. This is a problem with many dating sites, in order to justify their membership fees, they make it difficult to delete your info, so they can claim a big membership base.
"I suggest Karen try Plenty of Fish, or check the local newspapers for ads, and check clubs where men can be found (golf, yacht clubs, etc.).
Peter thinks finding a suitable mate will be hard work for Karen.
"The reason," he said, "is as we get older, we get more selective, some seniors age better than others, there are financial situations to consider, background, unfinished business(not over last partner's departure), health issues, different stages of life (retired snowbird, still working), distance, and family commitments make it harder to date."
Larry has given up dating women he meets on the Internet: "After three dozen or so lunch and/or dinner dates from the Internet, I am coming to three conclusions:
"First, the photos/profiles posted do not accurately portray the women.
"Second, you have a better chance of feeling good chemistry at a supermarket encounter.
"Third, many women use the internet dating services as a guise to get free meals. I have had ladies confirm the latter about some of their female acquaintances. I question why a man would even buy dinner for a totally strange woman?"
Dan thought he'd found love but it didn't find him:
"About a month ago," he said, "a friend introduced me to a great lady, probably in her mid-to-late-50's. She is beautiful, successful, and confident with a wonderful personality.
"I was smitten. I phoned the next day and left a message on her recorder that I enjoyed meeting her and would like to follow up with a lunch or dinner. I called a week later and left a message asking her to call. With no response to either call, I realized it was not a match made in heaven."
Several weeks later, the woman who introduced Dan offered to casually learn what happened. The feedback was that Dan seems like a great guy and would make a wonderful friend but she didn't need more friends.
Dan added, "I got the hint long before, when my calls were not returned, but it was a stinging confirmation. My point is that I have found a few great gals that I was interested in but I know that it takes two to tango and I'm still looking for that dance partner."
It's not only women who find senior dating difficult, men face steep challenges as well.