Eight men vent about the pro’s and con’s of senior internet dating and the single senior man’s point of view
By Tom P Blake Finding Love After 50
Here's what eight single men have to say (remember, this was published in 2007. Interesting to see how things have and have not changed in the senior internet dating field.
Dave, widower, Michigan, says he met three women in person he found on Match.com. "Each lied about their age by at least ten years. I complained to Match.com. They said, 'We are sorry about the dishonesty in age and posted pictures. It is our goal to present only factual profile information.' My experience has been very disconcerting indeed!"
George, San Francisco Bay Area, a recent widower, said. 'Dostoevsky said: 'Love is a true battlefield - no one comes back without wounds.'
"I've placed a couple of ads on the Internet, (one is Yahoo). The other is www.true.com and it is a huge resource for middle aged and late-middle aged people to search for potential mates.
"It has psychological tests and sexuality tests (mine came back spot on accurate!) and the women there who are within (sometimes extramarital) my age-requirement parameters, are frequently widowed, but mostly divorced. All have been very gracious in their responses or initiated messages. Some live in another state - even the East Coast. Reading their messages and ads has hugely lightened up my life."
Tony, (not his real name), an outdoor sportsman from Texas, writes, "I live in a small town and through the Internet I find lovely ladies to meet. Here are tips for meeting men in small or large towns.
"There a lot of single guys, all veterans, at the American Legion and VFW halls. In the American Legion, any woman can join the Ladies Auxiliary and serve the local community with projects.
Ladies should go to where men hang out: Gun clubs and public shooting ranges, the Izaak Walton leagues, etc have a lot of retired guys who don't work and have nothing to but shoot and hang out.
Chances are you will not be the only woman, but you will be out- numbered by single men who enjoy shooting sports like trap, skeet, sporting clays, small bore shooting, target shooting etc. They tend to be stable, pretty normal guys. These men don't know how to meet women and most don't know how to use a PC or the Internet.
"After returning from a hunting trip this week, my date and I had an early dinner in a small Mexican restaurant in Bandera, TX., population 1200. There were five grey-haired men, all nice looking, well-dressed, some in work clothing, eating alone. I said to my date:
'What a bloody shame these lonely guys are eating out alone; they don't have the computer skills to meet women a mile away sitting home, looking to meet a man.'
"Many of these guys are well off, with good retirement income, and usually have their lives in order, not like many of the gonzos on the dating sites. Often the men you want are right in front of your eyes.
Doug, "Being recently divorced after a long, drawn-out separation, I quite eagerly approached a seniors dating site a couple months ago. Sadly, however, my eagerness has not been reciprocated.
"Even though I wrote only to women who reflected a healthy interest in intimacy, I've so far received responses - timid, at best - from no more than 20% of the 'chosen,' almost like the experience years ago of responding to employment ads and being seemingly ignored by most of the targets.
“Maybe I'm just trying to salve my wounded ego - friends, family insist I'm a very attractive man - but it seems these otherwise forthright women become instantly evasive and coy upon being confronted with exactly what they claim to be seeking. I can only guess I'm being read as a 'player' and am not considered worthy of a response, despite my asking for no more than their company on a dinner date."
Larry, mid 60s, Southern California: "From a single man's point of view, most men have gone through at least one bad relationship and we become more retrospective.
"Two quotes from my 87-year-old Southern Belle friend: "Woman are not happy until they catch a man and then they are not happy with the man they catch" And, "Women do not tell the truth"
"Believing the above to be true, why would a man want to commit to a woman—who, after a period of time--will become disenfranchised with her man? There are very few women that will accept a man as he is and not try to change him."
Dave #2, age 60, "Women want a committed relationship. That will seldom happen. Most men over 50 have hobbies, business ventures, etc. Men don't want to get tied down to one woman. What we want are friends with benefits.
"Women are just going to have to accept this, and move on to multiple relationships or never have any kind of relationship. Many women I have found over 50 do not have a sex drive anymore. They just want someone to spend time with.
"I own my own gym, workout twice a day, hold down a very challenging job, have a few hobbies, and appreciate a beautiful women of any age."
Gordon, Oregon: "You know what I think of when someone mentions Sideways: the two violent women - one picks up guys by pouring wine (don't think he was the first one she bedded) and then bashes his head in for leading her on, and the second one makes a practice of getting guys in bed with the set up to have her beefy husband come in, threaten to beat him up and steal his money.
"Interesting how a guy misleads a woman (which isn't a crime) and he's remembered as a buffoon but two women commit felonies, and nobody remembers, or at least dares mention it."
And this from George #2, Hot Springs, Arkansas, "Wouldn't it be cool if Love After 50 could have a convention from time to time so people could share the same issues while meeting in person. Maybe you could create franchises in cities - Love After 50 Lonely Hearts. Internet dating sucks outloud.