Note from Tom: This article first ran in 2008. Note, this is a two-part article. Part 2, at the end, are the follow-up responses from readers to this article.
One of our members has a dilemma and seeks your advice. I promised we'd change his name to John.
John, 61, said, "Carol (a pseudonym), 54, and I met in Southern California in 1978 while employed in the same field but for different organizations. I vaguely recall asking her out, but she declined. We became friendly colleagues who talked about business and occasionally our personal lives off and on for the next several years. Both of us married others in the mid-1980s but we stayed in touch. I divorced in 1994 and have remained single.