Senior men ask: “Where are the senior women?” It’s the men’s turn to vent about what’s wrong with single senior women.
By Tom P Blake – Finding Love after 50
Our men Champs aren't pansies. They may be reticent to speak up, but they're out there and they have opinions. Strong opinions. It just takes a nudge, something that doesn't quite sit right with them, to get them talking. And last week's comments from women in eight different states about "Where are the men?" was that nudge. Today, the men get equal time.
Ken, Alabama, said, "Today is my 54th birthday. I'm still single after losing my wife to a heart attack 15 years ago. Well, ladies, 'Where are the men?' We are here. You are just too DAMN picky.
"I'm overweight...yep. Sure am. I work hard every day and for long hours. I still have a daughter at home. She is in college and has 2 more years till graduation. Most of the women I know and have met these past 15 years, want me to accept their children, but, they won't accept mine! That's the major reason I'm still single.
"My blessed Mom told me two things to do, that I still follow:
1. Never date someone that you have no intention of marrying.
2. Never get involved with anyone weirder than you or, who has MORE problems than you.
"I love your column. The different perspective helps keep me sane."
Dan, 63, divorced, Maryland, wrote, "My experience online is that almost every woman in her mid-to-late 50s requests younger men. The women who write me are frequently 65-72, often appear to be overweight, are either very religious or spiritual, and post pictures of their grandchildren and/or pets.
"The pets and children are usually described as the 'most important thing in my life'--this on a site to find men. Their interests are a list of TV shows, crafts, dining out and reading magazines/novels. They often do not drive at night, nor drive on big highways or over bridges. They like travel but mostly on cruises. Some request an income over $100,000.
"Men looking for appealing women is quite challenging even though we have a slight edge in numbers. Where are all the interesting women?"
Will, Crescent City, California, "How bad is it? Realizing the highlight of my week is your column. Learning that there is an expanding ratio of women to men in my age (78) group and I still wonder why the little red-headed girl doesn't know my name. And the girls my age are all red heads or blondes.
"Wondering why women wear dark glasses for their profiles, and display their hyper little dogs thinking 'You had better love this thing before you can love me.' Single life is good only if you get up, get out, and take a chance this one more time. Maybe I will look at blondes this time."
Jake, "I'm single in Medford, Oregon, and refuse to go on the Internet because of all the drama I experienced from the available local women. I have my own home, semi-retired, work out five days a week, backpack, ride my bike, have a huge vegetable garden and want a woman around my own age. I like the grey hair on a woman and respect who they are and treat them well.
"My problem is I need to get out more as I don't go to bars and eating in a nice restaurant alone is not much fun either. I'm very healthy; no one needs to take care of me. My father just passed at 94 and my mother is 91. I'm frustrated and ready to accept that I'm going to be alone. Where are the women?"
Comment from Tom: Perhaps John should check out Meetup.com to find a club with similar outdoor interests or the Sierra Club.
Al, Texas, said, "I found it really refreshing the comment from Lynda about looking a date in the eye as opposed to the cold email. She is SO right.
"I had two dates from emails and both were DATES FROM HELL.
"I have been married twice. The first for 20 years broke my heart. The second for 25 years just broke me financially. I loved being married. I have been single for five years and would love to meet an honest lady to laugh and love.
"I am in Texas until November. Then, I want to travel all around this country in search for that special lady. Be sure Lynda in New Mexico reads this, I like the way she thinks."
Scott, California, "I honestly question my own sanity responding to your column. I find the comments, perspectives and expectations from women amusing.
"There's an expression that 'the problem with rescuing damsels in distress is that you merely end up with distressed damsels.'
"Several of the comments that appeared in your column spoke to the alleged inadequacy of men. Men either are financially unable to satisfy the minimum standard these women desire for pre-qualification; or they are physically infirm in some way or another including, heaven forbid, that he may not even be able to 'eat popcorn.'
"Lastly, men are viewed with impunity for wanting to entertain women younger than themselves, as if that behavior was restricted solely to males.
"I was married for 20 years and am still disappointed that it did not work out; nevertheless, I'm open to the possibility of a relationship but accept that the probability of that occurrence is dismal.
"I wouldn't trust buying a used car from an online ad, let alone trust the self-assessment of someone soliciting suitors on the equivalent of a human vending machine otherwise known as a dating web site."
Nate (not his real name by request), Salinas, California, said: "I am 59, have a job, and have pretty much given up on dating. I shower and brush my teeth twice a day, I cook and clean my own house and attend church regularly. I am well-educated and have traveled the World. My hobby is playing music. I don't drink and I don't smoke.
"The main reason I have no interest in dating is it is like returning to a war zone. There is an ambush waiting at every corner. Most of the women I have met are liars, always about their age and interests. I guess what I tire quickly of is the melodrama. Women always seem to have issues and are looking for a solution. They are their own solution.
"Women would do better if they spent a little effort understanding how they got to where they are, and made the realization that their happiness begins with them, not from a man. It would be nice to be in a relationship, but I don't hold out a lot of hope."
Curtis, Wisconsin, wrote, "Three-to-one women to men, mostly looking for men and all I find are women that if they want to have fun, they will call their girl friends and go out, so don't bother me. Or, like the guy said last week of widows over 60, they are content in their lives with kids and grand kids.
"With results like that no wonder men look for younger women. Older women have achieved independence and don't want to give that up. They neither need nor want a man in their life."
Scott ended his message with: "I know for certain that long after someone like you writes for this audience, and someone like me represents this audience, men and women will bemoan their relationships, or lack of relationships, without resolution."
He's probably right.