A woman asked, "Where are all of the good men?" “Is there such a thing as love after 50?” She feels her “dancing in the rain” attitude intimidates men.
By Tom P Blake – Finding Love after 50
Champ Kathleen emailed, "I am a 67-year-old retired female, a product of the 50s, 60s and 70s and all that it entails...the good - the bad - and the fun years! There was always a man in my life from first grade on: married twice, lived with four men and enjoyed many wonderful love affairs.
"I have been single and living without a man for many years and loving it but at the back of my mind is a thought of maybe once again including the male persuasion. Question: Where are all the good men?
"I have recently tried to re-connect with men from my past, four of them, and the old saying 'you can't go home again' applies. Match.com brought men into my life who were not truthful and a waste of time.
"I firmly believe and know that I am happy and fulfilled right now and if a man does come into my life, he will be the frosting and not the cake. I am a glass-half-full gal and a live-in-the moment person. Many men are fearful of this since they like to dwell on the past hurts and worry about the future challenges. I do neither. Dancing in the rain and always finding the rainbow are much preferred for me.
"Is there such a thing as love after 50?"
Tom's response: Let's give Kathleen credit for being upbeat and for making an effort--although likely not enough of an effort--to meet a "good" man. What might be the problem here?
Ok, so she connected with four men from her past--perhaps the four she lived with, although I don't know that--and found you can't go back. When relationships don't work out, and we try to revisit them, they usually don't work because the issues that caused them not to work in the first place haven't changed.
She tried Match.com and that didn't work. Kathleen is down on Internet dating because of an experience with just one site. Perhaps checking some other sites might be a good idea. Also, the Internet should only be one aspect of a single's seeking-a-companion plan. People who rely solely on the Internet to meet someone are not making enough of a diversified effort.
One thing that sticks out a bit is her statement that many men are fearful of her glass-half-full, live-in-the-moment, dance-in-the-rain, always-find-the-rainbow personality characteristics. And she stresses how happy and fulfilled she is.
Maybe fearful of those characteristics is the wrong word. Perhaps some of the good men she's met find those characteristics a bit over the top and a turn off. Who dances in the rain anymore? Is she looking for Gene Kelly?
Where are the good men? They aren't lost little lambs down at Morrie's Pub sitting at a table or on a barstool waiting for women their age to walk in and chat them up (They might, however, be at the 19th Hole Bar and Grill at the golf course having a cold one after a round of golf).
The key to meeting a potential mate is to get out and about, try new activities, meet new people and cast one's nets wide and far as other older singles have done.
Kathleen might want to read how older singles met in a book titled How 50 Couples Found Love after 50. Actually, there are 58 couples whose stories are included, several of them our Champs. Kathleen would see how 116 people age 50+ found love. Half of them met on the Internet and the rest met in more traditional ways--at church, through friends, at events (and not necessarily singles events). So, yes, finding love after 50 does happen.
