Single woman, 50, with kids at home can find love.
By Tom P Blake of Finding Love After 50
Here's the situation. Back, in 2005, two days before Valentine's Day, which is also her birthday, Linda, who was 48, was widowed. She had a 16-year-old daughter and two sons, one 14, the other 12, living at home. Now 50, she's feeling the need to spread her wings a bit.
She says, "I've never wanted anyone to pity me. God gave me 20 great years with a loving husband and father. Your life does change in ways you never expected. You find out who your true friends are and you realize life does go on."
Linda says she feels the need to get out, to maybe meet someone. "As much as I love and will always love my late husband, my children, friends and family will never fill that void and the need for some companionship."
She realizes she still has children living at home and that she has issues such as paying for college tuitions. "But, it doesn't mean I don't have time for some adult fun! I hope you can give advice for us 'younger’ singles.'"
Linda acknowledges that men may look at her situation as having too much baggage. But she doesn't expect a man to be saddled with those responsibilities.
"I'm a good person with a good soul with so much to offer a man. So just how does one get that across without them thinking they are expected to raise my children? "I've done a great job so far and don't need help. I don't need their money," Linda said.
Linda may never remarry. "At my husband's funeral, I was approached by an 80-year-old family friend who advised me not to remarry. She had, and was 'taken to the cleaners' by her second husband. After divorcing him, she is now happily 'shacking up' (her words) with a wonderful man and life couldn't be better! My sister and I couldn't stop laughing!
"Looking back, I realize that made sense. I don't want to change my life for any man, but I do want to share it. Separate households would be fine, but my kids are open to whatever arrangements I end up with. Trouble is finding that someone."
So how does she find someone for companionship who won't have to help raise her kids or shoulder that financial responsibility? And, who won't feel pressured to marry?
She says she doesn't like the thought of trying online dating.
I answered, "Focusing on your children is your top priority, as it should be.
"The Internet is a mixed bag. One can waste a lot of time playing the game and results can be iffy. Perhaps joining a group like Parents Without Partners would be time better spent. I think your chances of meeting someone are greater in a club like that, instead of the Internet. There, you would meet people who understand a single parent's needs to take care of the kids.
"Just getting out and meeting new people is important--that can greatly increase your chances also."
Update in 2016: I have known Linda since 2007. I have seen her blossom into a vibrant, fun-loving, athletic woman who has had some nice relationships along the way. She has used the internet to meet men. Getting out and meeting new people has been the key to her success. Yes, a single woman with kids at home can find love.