How a recent widower will spend New Year's Eve in San Francisco. Women find recent widowers fast
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
The most frequently asked question I receive from single women in the 50-to-80 age range is "Where are the men?" Today's heartwarming story gives an indication of what becomes of older men after they become single again.
I have a friend named George who lives in San Francisco. We established a common bond while sharing stories and experiences of living in the Bay Area in our younger days, primarily having to do with the restaurant chain Victoria Station.
When I published the memoir, "Prime Rib and Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?" (www.vicsta.com), George told me of his days frequenting the original Victoria Station restaurant in San Francisco, which was located under the Embarcadero Freeway near Fisherman’s Wharf.
Our friendship bond grew stronger as George related to me that his girlfriend of many, many years was battling cancer. My appreciation and respect for him grew as he kept me informed of her ordeal.
He married her to ensure he could provide her the finest love and care during her final days. On May 2, his beloved Laura passed away.
George would share with me the low times, of which there were many, and the up times, little bits of healing he started to feel. He had a beautiful headstone and monument created for her. This week he wrote, "Having the monument completed and installed at the cemetery has given me some measure of closure - but I still miss the entity which was Laura."
Thinking it might help him ease back into the single world, I offered George a complimentary personal ad on the finding love after 50 website (I do not do that now in 2016, too many issues).
And here is where the example comes in of what happens to many new single men: women find them fast. Some men adopt a restaurant or pub where they often go just to get out of the house. They feel comfortable there and get to know the staff by name. They can have a drink and/or dinner, and it gets their mind off the pain they're dealing with. They aren't looking to meet somebody--they know they haven't properly healed-it just helps them pass the time. Such was the case with George.
In response to my personal ad offer, George wrote, "Thank you for your generous and kind offer but I met a very charming woman at a local Mexican restaurant while waiting to be seated."
George described his San Francisco restaurant routine: "Celia's #1 on Judah Street at 45th Avenue (this is where I go for my two evening cocktails), but I go to Wo's Chinese restaurant - right next door to them - for an under $5.00 meal-on-a-plate dinner. It costs less to eat there than to shop and cook your own - and their menu is very nicely varied in its repertoire because they have big steaming bowls of Vietnamese Pho and Japanese Udon noodle soups (great on a chilly evening). They even make Hung Tao Yee Foo Wonton soup for me even though it's not on the menu (10 large deep fried wontons in an egg flower chicken base soup - $4.75)."
And with Laura always on his mind, George added, "Laura once said that the two features of the scent of San Francisco are the aroma of Chinese food being cooked combined with the salty smell of the fog coming in over The City."
And what about the woman he met while standing in line at Celia's? "She lost her husband to leukemia about five years ago and has two children. We give each other comfort during the holiday season and have a date at the parties. We met just before Thanksgiving and it just sort of blossomed into a very warm friendship with hugs and kisses."
George is a realist. He knows he hasn't had time to heal, he's not rushing into anything, he's just happy to have met someone who has shared a similar loss as he.
Here's what he's cooking up for New Year's Eve.
"The lady in question will be spending New Year's Eve with me at my place (her son will be in Hawaii and her daughter is also going on a trip with some friends). I will be preparing a standing rib roast with pan roasted potatoes, white asparagus with prosciutto, salmon caviar canapes, king crab with avocado, and Veuve-Clicqout-Ponsardin La Grande Damme '96 champagne (got it at $95.00 - normally it's $135.00) - it's been a while since a festive occasion has entered my life so I'm doing a little something special this year. It's been more than 5 years for her - it's about time, eh?"
Where are the men? Women find them and grab them fast.
Happy New Year to George and his lady friend. And Happy New Year to all of you. May your New Year be filled with hope, happiness and new opportunities.