Lava Love Lamp (A senior dating success story from Tom’s archives)
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
Senior compatibility can come in strange packages. Perhaps with someone who has a similar background or interest, attend the same high school, shares a love of opera, travel, growing orchids or gardening. And it may be the Internet that brings a couple together.
When I first heard Jane’s story, I thought it was going to be one of those I-can’t-find-any- decent-men-to-date tales women share from all areas of the country.
Living near St. Louis, Mo., Jane, 55, spent two years on a major Internet matching service. “I had pretty much given up finding anyone online. When I did meet someone in person, it seemed we had absolutely nothing in common,” Jane said.
She had seen the photo of a man named Jack online, had even read his bio. “Though he was appealing, I never dreamed of writing to him; he lived too far away (an hour’s drive).” To Jane’s surprise, Jack contacted her.
“We corresponded online and talked on the telephone. When it came time to meet, I balked, actually canceling two dates with him. Upon realizing that he was like me—a former flower child—I decided not to meet him at all.”
Jane explained to Jack via email why she was reluctant to meet: Former hippies brought back too many bad memories of a drug-dealing, physically abusive, hippie husband, who had made her life miserable 30 years before.
Jack piqued her interest by reciting words from the song, Aqualung, a tune, Jane suggests, “Any self-respecting former hippie should remember.”
Note from Tom: I’m a 50s and 60s oldies expert, but must admit, hadn’t heard of that song, so I checked to see how Google described it: “The opening blast of ‘Aqualung’ is quintessential Jethro Tull; the guitar solo on that song ranks among rock's greatest.”
Jane and Jack had so much fun reciting back and forth lines from Aqualung that she decided to meet him, and this time didn’t cancel. That was 7 ½ months ago and now they are happier than a couple attending a Haight-Ashbury, flower-power reunion. Jack is a “R.E,” retired English professor and Jane an “E.R.” (still-working Emergency Room nurse).
Living an hour apart doesn’t stop them from seeing each other nearly every day. They plan to move-in together in August in a little house in the country, which Jack is rehabbing for them. “We are two old hippies and have aptly dubbed our place, ‘The Lava Lamp Love Lounge.’”
Jane says, “I have never met a man who treats me so well, or that I love so much. I’m blessed to have found someone who makes me laugh out loud often, who sees humor in so many situations in our lives. We’ve been very good for each other. We’re both divorced, both actively involved in our children’s lives. Our past relationships made us feel fragile and somewhat vulnerable. Neither is perfect, but we’re perfect for each other.”
Jane added, “Tell readers not to give up, and to ‘think outside of the box’ when it comes to finding dating partners. I did give up. Thank God, Jack did not. We are truly blessed. When a couple is meant to be—which I believe is the case with Jack and me—there is no stopping Karma! Internet dating can yield senior love.”
So even if you hung out in San Francisco at the corner of Haight and Ashbury in the mid-1960s, there’s hope. Somewhere there is a person who also hung out in SF, who might be perfect for you. The wide-reach of the Internet is how you’ll likely find him. And don’t eliminate him because he lives an hour away.