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From Russia without love. A senior man gets scammed.

By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50

Romance Scam update


Internet romance scams are abundant. Lonely and naïve single men and women get caught up in scams thinking they’ve found someone in a foreign country who is going to be their lover. Last week, I had the following email exchange with a 69-year-old man we’ll call Jack, not his real name.

Jack emailed: “I want to know if you think a 69-year-old man and a 30-year-old Russian lady could get along? What do you think of the age difference?”

I replied, “How did you meet her? What is her motivation to be with someone 39-years-older?”

Jack: “I have not met her in person, on the Internet only. She has a visa to come here. I told her my age, she thinks it won’t make a difference. I think she will try to come to California this week.”

I said, “Of course the age gap doesn't matter to her, it's your money she's after. Be careful. She may want to marry you and then she might leave you. Who is paying for her trip?”

Jack: “I paid for most of it, about $2,000. I will not marry her without a pre-nuptial agreement. I don’t think she needs my house and what money I have.”

I wrote: “You're joking, right? She may not need your house or money, but she wants it. Are you planning to marry her?”

Jack: “I cannot answer that at this time. She will be here this Saturday if she told me the right scoop; she is to leave Russia Saturday. After I meet her, I can answer that.”

I said, “I get it, she's just going to pop over to California from Russia for a couple of days and you'll just give her a test run? Be warned. She's not coming. She's only trying to take your money and assets. She may not exist. It could be a man. Internet romance scams affect men also.”

Twelve hours later, Jack wrote, “It’s all off. She asked me for $4,000 and I said no way will I send that much money. I like to gamble but this is not a gamble, it’s dumb.”

Jack’s situation wasn’t an age-gap issue, about which he originally asked. It was a senior romance scam filled with lies and false promises. She has no visa. How could she leave Russia and arrive in California the same day?

It’s unfortunate that Jack is out the $2,000 he sent her for plane fare. At least he didn’t send the additional $4,000. He was gullible and foolish. A woman friend said to me, "He got what he deserved for trying to be with someone 39-years-younger."

For insight on Jack’s situation, I asked John, who married a woman from Russia, for his opinion.

John said, “There is no way any Russian woman could get here unless Jack submitted paperwork through the INS that is processed at the US Embassy in Russia prior to approval for her visit. They would have to meet there or in a country where she could get a visa before he could submit such paperwork. This is a common tactic that women from many foreign countries use to get money from Western men.

“Russian women are not as desperate as many in the West believe. Any age gap more than 20 years is unrealistic. That gap decreases as the man’s age goes higher than 45 or his weight increases beyond 200 lbs. Common sense exists in Russia just as it does here.”

When you think about it, wouldn’t it be a heck of a lot easier if Jack pursued one of the 10 million nice American woman near his age? And he wouldn’t be out $2,000.

For more information about romance scams, visit

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