This week, I received four emails that I found interesting. Messages from our Champs make writing these weekly newsletters a pleasure. Our subscriber list, new Champs, keeps growing. Welcome to the newcomers this week.
Email 1 – Love in Oregon
Jessie from Oregon took advantage of the $9.96 offer for the “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50” book. In addition to ordering it, Jessie emailed, “I've been reading your column for years. I'm one of the fortunate ones, I found love! Thanks for all you do, I was single for 15 years before Paul and I found each other. Your column was wonderful for helping me realize I wasn't alone in being older and without a partner. You even quoted me in the newsletter once.
“If you ever do a similar book on how couples met, I’d be happy to be interviewed, and I’m sure my guy would too.”
Tom’s comment to Jessie: “Well, now Jessie, you’ve been quoted twice!
And it’s funny you mention the possibility of publishing a Part 2 - How 50 Couples Found Love After 50. I was pondering that this morning. It would take several months to pull it together and gather new stories. If I decide to do that, you and Paul would be the first story. I can’t promise I will do a book, but we’ll see. I am wondering how many Champs would be willing to share their stories?
Email 2 – The single women of Harrisburg
We have a new Champ whose nickname is Neet. She lives in Pennsylvania. This past December, Neet was in the reception room of her doctor’s office. She started leafing through the December issue of the 50plus Life newspaper.
An article I had written (I write for the 50plus Life newspapers in six different PA cities), titled, “Men Have Trouble Meeting Women,” intrigued Neet. Right there, while sitting in the chair, she emailed me. Neet wrote: “As I opened the paper, ‘BAM,’ I must admit I was very surprised to read that older single men have trouble meeting women.
“I am 59, the group of 30 ladies that are in my circle range in age from 50-68, whether they be, divorced, widowed, never married, co-workers, church members, class mates, childhood friends, or neighbors, we all have the same issue as the men—meeting single members of the opposite sex is difficult.”
“I was even ready to relocate until I read your article. If I could, I would introduce single men to single ladies in Harrisburg. I'm open for new suggestions for 2017!”
Tom’s comment: To help her single women friends in PA meet men, Neet ordered two copies of the 50 Couples book to share with her women friends, in addition to the one she is reading. I bet we hear some success stories from that group of 30 women during 2017.
Often, relocating is not the answer to finding love. Love happens sometimes when we least expect it, as long as we are getting out and meeting new people. Being assertive—not aggressive—by introducing oneself to new people is essential.
Email 3 - A sensitive subject: Herpes and senior sex
A woman wrote, “I am 60, attractive, and divorced. My ex gave me herpes when we were in our 20s and we eventually married. Since my divorce, I have tried a website for STD’s, but it is not how I want to meet someone.
“I feel as if no one will ever want me, and I don’t think I will ever date again. My children and friends want me to meet someone, and I can’t tell them the reason why. I’m afraid to tell a man I have herpes, afraid of rejection and afraid of being judged that I am this horrible person with an STD. What should I do?”
Tom’s comment: This woman is very brave. I understand her fears and appreciate her honesty. She should talk to her doctor about the situation and get the doctor’s advice on how to enjoy intimacy without putting a mate at risk. If there are other Champs who are dealing with a similar situation, I hope they will respond with suggestions, which I will pass on to her. She has every right in this world to find happiness; perhaps we can help her.
Email 4 – Email exchange appropriate on this inauguration day – in no way an endorsement
I felt this email exchange I had with a southern Ohio woman appropriate, in light of today’s big event in Washington, D.C.
Ohio woman: “I have been getting your emails for many years and have enjoyed them very much. But a thought just occurred to me to ask if possibly you could recall any nice gentlemen in the Cincinnati, OH area. I am looking at 79 this coming Feb. I am in good health, a few aches and pains here and there. Good physical condition, I exercise 3-4 days a week. Have been retired about 10 years.
“I babysit two days a week for my 14-month-old great grandson (I love it). I enjoy a good movie, dinner out, walking, yard sales, flea markets, reading, crocheting, good conversation, and cooking.
“I am not looking for a husband, just someone to share some time with. I attend church weekly, am financially secure, not looking for a meal ticket, just someone with similar interests and about the same age, but one last thing, this person would definitely have to be a conservative. I know this is a tall order, I guess that's why I have been divorced for over 20 years.”
Tom: I don't know any single men in Cincinnati right off the top of my head; I will check my files. And then, not knowing exactly what she met (politically, religiously, financially?) I wrote, “What is your definition of a conservative?”
Ohio woman responded, “My definition of conservative is the opposite of liberal, in other words, I am very happy that Donald Trump won the election.”
Tom: “There is a new (since June) dating website called Trump Singles. It’s for Trump supporters only--$19.95 per month. If you check it out, let me know what you discover. At least politics wouldn’t be a taboo discussion subject for people who meet on the site. Don’t try to email this Ohio woman today—she’s likely glued to her TV set.
Politics and religion are no-win topics that I avoid. Again, I am not endorsing anybody or anything—just reporting what our Champs write to me about.
That’s it for this week.Email me if you would consider sharing your story in a 50 Couples Volume 2 version of How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 book, or if you have comments or questions. Email: email@example.com.