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Where are the senior single men?

These men were changing the guard at the Copenhagen Royal Palace

In response to last week’s newsletter that listed the best and worst cities for potentially meeting a mate, in the top 150 USA most populous cities, Emily said, “I have never been anywhere where there are more men than women. Tell me where. Usually single women outnumber single men by lots.” Champ Terry’s response: “As far as cities to meet possible mates, I would add Avon, Vail, and Aspen in Colorado. It is easy to meet and date and enjoy women when you position yourself in any activities available. It has always been easy for me because I am active, can say hello, and have a positive attitude.” Tom’s response, “Yes Emily, senior single women usually outnumber senior single men. At age 70, the ratio of single women to single men is approximately 3 to one. One of the categories on the Finding Love After 50 website, is “Where are the single men?” There are 14 articles under that category. So, a shortage of men is not a new topic. I have written about it for 23 years. A few years back, at an AARP national convention, Dr. Ruth was giving a speech; she was asked by a woman TV reporter who was in the audience, this question, “Where are the single men? I can’t meet any single men.” Dr. Ruth gave the best answer I have ever heard to that question. Since this was a few years ago, I don’t recall her exact words, but Dr. Ruth said something like this:

“The ratio of single women to single men is a fact of life. You cannot change it. However, if you have a positive attitude, and are pleasant, and willing to get out and meet new people, you will dramatically improve the ratio.” Emily asked where are there more men than women? I am certain there are more men playing golf—whether it’s at a driving range, or on the course itself, or in the 19th hole (the bar) after their game. I guarantee there are more men than women at the links.

Also, I am told that lots of men love antique car shows and are always happy to strike up a conversation about their polished beauties on display. Granted, some of those guys are likely married, but, it might be worth a visit. I can tell you where 58 women over age 50 found love. In 2009, I published a hard cover book titled, "How 50 Couples Found Love Over 50." Before you tell me that I can't count, the book includes the stories of 58 couples. The extra eight stories came to me after the final cover artwork was completed. So, I included the stories of those additional eight couples as a bonus. More than 30 of the couples met online. Many of the couples were our Champs; some still are. Most, not all, are still together. A few broke up, a few lost their spouses through death. The book has a cover price of $18.95 + shipping and tax, so about $24 is the cost. I'd like all Champs to have the opportunity to own an autographed, personalized copy of the book. Here is my offer. I will sign and ship a new copy of the book for $9.96, which includes tax and shipping. Simply contact me at and give me the particulars. Credit card payments go through my Paypal account. I send a Paypal invoice to your email. I need to know to whom to sign the book. If you want it sent as a gift, just let me know to whom and that person's snail mail address. I will honor the offer until January 20, 2017. Oh, you can also get the book at, but it will cost you with shipping and tax more than $20 and it won't be signed or personalized.

Tom's hard cover book --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wineries in Indiana

In last week’s column, I made a joke about wine being cheapest in Indianapolis. When I attended DePauw University, in Greencastle, Indiana, about a zillion years ago, I don’t recall ever seeing a vineyard in the entire state. Well, Champ Sarah set me straight. She wrote, “Maybe wine is so reasonable in Indy because Indiana produces so much wine…wineries everywhere…including downtown Indy.” I thought she was pulling my leg until I Google-checked it—oh my gosh, Sarah is right, check out—I was amazed, there are wineries all over Indiana. I haven’t tasted Indiana wine, but I intend to. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another Wallet hub study

Believe it or not, WalletHub, the company that provided the statistics for last week’s best and worst cities for singles, sent out another study this week: “Most sinful cities.” We aren’t going to get into that. I will say, however, as one might expect, since Las Vegas is considered the most sinful city—no wonder so many people enjoy going there. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

India and Nepal

Precious Nepal school child

I appreciate the nice comments so many of you made regarding the India and Nepal trip from which Greta and I just returned. To see more pictures and to read a bit more those countries, go to At the top of the home page, click on the travel blog tab. That will lead you to 3 travel blogs from that trip.

Or, you can click directly on this link: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nick gets realistic about senior dating

As I was going through my column archives, I came across an email I received from an older gentleman named Nick. And since, the email has a Christmas wish at the end, I wanted to share it with you, with Christmas just two weeks away. The subject line: “Nick gets realistic about senior dating.” Nick is 83. He had written me asking what I thought his prospects were for dating women in their 60s. I told him to “get real,” to seek someone much closer to his age. He wrote back, “Thanks for helping me resolve my question about being realistic at age 83. I realize how important a role one’s health plays in starting another relationship. “I’m a widower after a happy, loving marriage of 62 years. (I took care of my wife for 11 years with Alzheimer’s disease.) I am in a very vulnerable age for serious health problems. I have severe hearing loss and wear hearing aids, which would turn many prospects off. “This made me realize that there would be other health problems of even a greater concern. I decided that what I have been doing is probably the best solution—if there is any. I attend senior activities weekly (dancing, lunch, etc.,) at a local senior center. I live in a large apartment complex of mostly seniors and do my best to meet single women at social events and I work out daily in our work out facility. “So far, however, I haven’t met anyone I would like to develop a relationship with. So, I will continue to attend social functions and other activities where I can meet single OLDER women. “Your newspaper articles and newsletter have been very helpful. I have asked Santa to bring me my ideal woman (like my wife was) for Christmas.” What a sweet email from Nick. Married for 62 years, including caregiving for the final 11 of those years, and just trying to mend the hole in his heart. Too bad we can’t introduce him to someone like Emily (not sure about Emily's age). Ending Notes: If I don’t publish a newsletter next week due to Christmas, have a great holiday with your family and friends. Be safe and remember the less fortunate. And just a reminder, email me your relationship questions, issues, and experiences, we have lots of new Champs subscribing to the newsletter, who want to learn from you.

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