From Russia without Love - Part 2. Dating Eastern European women
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
Romance Scam update
For insight on Jack's Russian romance scam, described in an earlier column, I asked Maryland resident John, who had been married to a Russian woman, for his opinion on dating Eastern European women.
"Dating someone from Eastern Europe is not for everyone. Living in different countries and studying about the old Soviet Union during my college days, gave me a better idea of what to expect.
"I highly recommend to the two guys that they take their time and if possible, spend as much time on Skype with their women and to visit there two or three times before committing. I know patience is difficult, but it might save them grieve in the long run.
"I assume the women are younger and more beautiful than the men find in their local areas, but getting to know the person inside will determine long-term stability more than anything else. The woman's knowledge of English will help unless the men want to learn Russian or Bulgarian and accept the limitations with that. They must also understand what she is doing to make a relationship work. Bulgaria has more problems than Russia but it is still possible to find someone there."
John worked very hard on bringing the woman he eventually married from Russia. I recall when he took an 18-hour train ride from Moscow to visit her. He jumped through multiple hoops to bring her to the states and to marry her. A few years later, after he had helped her and her daughter get settled and acclimated to life here, she divorced him and remarried.
And speaking of Bulgaria, I have a friend who met a Bulgarian woman while on a business trip to Europe. He brought her to the states and married her.
He said, "There is very little difference between Russian, Bulgarian, Romanian and Ukrainian women. I have met many of them and their unfortunate American husbands at Orange County (California) parties. As you know, I have first-hand experience in this arena (After a few stormy years together, she divorced him and remarried.)
"An older man must ask: Why would a much younger pretty woman from any country want to hook up with an older man? Has the American man truly considered any possible cultural differences? There are many cultural differences whether the woman is from The Eastern Bloc, The Philippines or South America.
"Women from Russia, Bulgaria and the Ukraine have virtually all grown up with no religious or even spiritual values and perhaps without kindness. They often claim to be Christian (Orthodox Catholic) but this is invariably a lie. There were three generations where women/men/children from the Eastern Bloc were imprisoned if they attended a church service. There is a small exception to this statement. Catholicism was never stamped out in Poland though many other psychological issues were created by the Communist/KGB rule.
"Toughness and lying was/is a way of life. The children are taught to lie to the KGB as soon as they start speaking. The FBI put it best 3-4 years ago, when 5 "Russian spy couples were deported, by publically saying that they are all Professional Liars! The toughness came from living and growing up in a constantly desperate survival mode.
"If a man is looking for the possibility of true love and kindness, then he should probably continue his search in the Good Old USA! His chances are only somewhat better here. If he is looking for a beautiful young woman, good sex and heart break then by all means hook up with an Eastern European, Filipino or South American!"
Champ Sam said, "My parish priest (Russian Orthodox) warned me about the Russian women trying to get to the USA. In his words, after they get here, it's 'Good Bye Charlie!'
"Some American men are really gullible to go for their scam. My personal experience was with a client. I sold his mobile home after he had just bought a new house for his Russian bride. True to form, she divorced him after moving into the new house. How's that for tradition?"
John summarized this issue nicely, "Wouldn't it be a heck of a lot easier if Jack had pursued one of the 10 million nice American women near his age? And, he wouldn't have lost the $2,000."
I've heard there is a new James Bond movie being filmed, about senior dating, it's called, "From Eastern Europe without love."