A man has been married 6 Times and has a pre-existing health condition matter? Should Donna be concerned?
By Tom P Blake - Finding Love after 50
Donna said that last week's newsletter inspired her to write. She's trying to understand her hesitation over a new man she's met and said that my having had three marriages will help her evaluate her new man. (I knew those three marriages would pay off some day).
Donna said, "I just met in person a guy in Oregon that I met six weeks ago on the Internet. I responded to him because I liked his profile and then noticed he lived in Oregon--way, way out of my 200 mile geographic limit" (Donna lives in Southern California, about 800 miles away).
But she was going on vacation to visit friends in Oregon so she wrote him, saying that even though it was early in their correspondence, would he be willing to meet her. "He drove 2 ½ hours to meet me on a Sunday. He was what I thought, a genuine nice person," Donna said.
At the end of the week, he met Donna and her friends for breakfast near the Portland Airport--a half hour drive for him--and he picked up the tab. Donna and her friends agreed he is a solid person. But--there's always a but--she has a couple of concerns.
Her first concern: "He is 60 and has been married six times! I just turned 57 and have been divorced since 1986."
Are multiple marriages a red flag?
Donna said that three of his marriages only lasted for a total of 2 1/2 years, and yielded no children. He told her he shouldn't have married those women but felt he should because of the way he was raised.
Donna's second concern: "He is a Vietnam vet, who was in the serious ‘Apocalypse Now’ trenches. Special Forces, helicopter pilot shot down three times etc. He takes medication for PTSD.
Should a pre-existing health condition matter?
"I don't know if he came into my life for romance or to help me through my brother's death? Last November, at age 64, my oldest brother died. What he actually died from was the Agent Orange that he got doing covert operations in Cambodia while acting as a Medic in the Special Forces.
"This dear man in Oregon has helped me to learn and understand some of the things my brother went through that I never had any idea of. Maybe the reason he came into my life is to help me through this, rather than be my last relationship. I just don't know. I'm feeling a bit sad at the moment. What do you think?"
If you were in my shoes, what would you advise Donna?
To be continued with responses next week.