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Widower finds love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women,
middle-aged singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
Widower Finds Love After 50
© 2004 Tom Blake
In last week's column, I urged readers to share their
stories and contribute. As a result, I received more than 100 e-mails from Orange County readers and people across the United States. I'll be sharing many of those e-mails
over the next few weeks.
One of the e-mails that particularly impressed me came from a 61-year-old widower named Rodney Hillerts of San Clemente. Rodney shared his love story,
which contains valuable lessons for older singles.
"I was married to a wonderful, educated and resourceful lady for 27 wonderful years until she finally passed away from the terrible ravages of cancer in
December, 1997," wrote Rodney.
Finding himself alone after all of those years, Rodney says he was lost on how to restart his life.
He checked out the personal ads in the "Register" and found the ads run by men were shallow and vain. "I decided to be brutally honest, my ad stated that I
lost my love of 27 years and that I was a rich, fat, retired fireman."
Several women responded. "When I dated them, I found them to be so into themselves that none of them showed any prospects of a relationship," said
Rodney.
Networking
Rodney turned to networking, one of the most effective and least expensive ways to find a mate. When he took his two Yorkshire Terriers to his veterinarian,
Dr. Paul Schneider, who at that time was at the Estrella Pet Hospital in San Clemente, Rodney told Dr. Schneider to keep an eye out for any woman who might enjoy a "rich, fat,
retired fireman" and to give her his phone number.
Dr. Schneider immediately said "Anna." A few days earlier, a woman named Anna had brought her two dogs to the vet and had made a similar networking
request-that she'd like to meet somebody.
"Anna was recently divorced and was an Orange County paramedic/firefighter," said Rodney. With Rodney's phone number in hand, Anna worked up the
nerve to call him. They became a couple.
Rodney says, "Our views toward marriage were very much alike. Neither wanted the binding aspects of marriage."
Rodney mentioned that he and Anna have many things in common, share a good overall partnership and have set several goals. "We both established living
trusts, naming each other as trust assigners."
Anna is several years younger than Rodney. "She is now a retired good looking slender firefighter/paramedic-for my benefit, I may need a paramedic
sometime," Rodney joked.
Rodney hopes his story will remind men and women over 50 that "There is always someone who will meet your needs when it comes to finding a person to
spend the rest of one's life with. Don't give up looking, and the main thing is to be absolutely honest in the pursuit, as well as with the prospective partner."
Rodney's story has worthwhile lessons for older singles: Physical appearance isn't as important as a good heart; people who love dogs may be compatible;
network with your vet, dentist and doctor, they see lots of people; and honesty--which is hard to find--is a solid pillar of relationships.
With their backgrounds, they should be able to douse any fires that flare up between them.
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