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senior dating--for widows, divorcees, divorced men and widowers - answering their questions about dating after divorce, finding love, living together, dating younger women,
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Widow with positive
"Finding Love After 50"
A widow with a healthy dating attitude
A year ago, a widow who calls herself PG moved to Orange County from another country. I'm impressed with her dating attitude, and wanted to share it
"I didn't know many people so making friends was a top priority. I'm impressed with the number of activities that are available to the middle-aged dating
community, be it church, local organizations, senior centers, or the various singles groups like Widows and Widowers," PG said.
She tried a variety of ways to meet other singles, particularly widowers. She joined a matchmaking service, but wasn't impressed. Through the service, she
met two people, but felt both misrepresented themselves.
PG is positive and upbeat. When we met in person, she told me she's had four marriage proposals in the past two years, but can't find anybody
without some sort of heavy baggage.
One aspect that makes middle-age dating o difficult is finding someone compatible, this is why she felt meeting a widower would be best.
"I just stopped seeing a guy I met thru J Date (a website for Jewish singles). He turned out to be a secret smoker, was very chauvinistic, and expected me to
to all of the phoning. We dated four months. Before we got more involved, I decided that the negatives were greater than the few positives," said PG.
Regarding meeting men via the Internet, PG shared, "What some guys write in their profiles, and what they say they are looking for, are often
not true. There also seems to be a mad panic to see a photograph before getting together. Some older single men hardly want to talk on the phone first, but wish to meet for
When PG goes to a restaurant with a date, she watches his behavior. "A good yardstick is how a guy treats the restaurant staff, and whether
he pours over the bill and nitpicks it or not. Tells me a lot, and hasn't failed to yield a correct assessment in the long run," said PG.
She mentioned that establishing a long-distance relationship with somebody living in another area--like Palm Springs or San Diego--is difficult. She added:
"It takes the spontaneity out of a lot of things one could do on a day-to-day basis, like meet for a quick lunch, a cup of tea, or a gym workout."
PG has four grown children and eight grandchildren. She enjoys them, but doesn't allow them to get in the way of her middle-age dating.
She says she is surprised at the number of men 55-plus who still have kids' issues, which makes building a relationship with them difficult.
PG's views on dating represent a cross section of what people face when they get out there in middle-age dating again.
Unfortunately, it's not a perfect dating world. People lie, people aren't what they represent themselves to be. None of us are perfect; some are more grounded
PG's challenge, and the challenge for all mid-life singles, widows and widowers, is to find a gemstone amid the pile of rocks. To her credit, she's
working hard at it, and she's only been in this country one year.
With her dating attitude, she'll find the right partner soon.