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Finding love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged
singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
Finding Love After 50
© 2004 by Tom Blake
To find love after 50, consider this column a wake-up call.
My sister Chris lives in Mill Valley, Calif., ten minutes from the Golden Gate Bridge, north of San Francisco. She's single, in her early 50s.
A few days after the September 11 attacks on America,
she said, "Having no one special in my life with whom
to share the grief and horror made me realize I need
to get out there, and make an effort to meet someone."
She's a busy executive, a property manager for several
high rises in San Francisco. Often she works six days
a week, and has nights when she doesn't get home until
8:30 or 9 p.m. She's a good woman, and deserves somebody
special. How does Chris, and how do singles
like her, find the time, and energy to "get out there?"
Granted, easier said than done. But, as we learned from
the attacks, people need support groups, a sense of belonging.
"Where can I go to meet someone?" is the most
frequently-asked question I hear. Because I've been writing
relationship columns for seven and a half years, singles
look to me for the answer. They think I should be able to
whip out a list of recommended places, regardless of where
they live in the United States.
I don't have an answer. What's suitable for one may not
be suitable for another. People who like to dance
might attend dances in their area or take dance lessons.
People who want to get involved in a singles group
might join an athletic singles group or a singles
volunteer group.
Widows and widowers can join clubs throughout the USA
that benefit them. Nearly every major city has these groups.
Marilyn, Mission Viejo, Calif., said, "It's pretty
discouraging when you go to a social function and there
are at least 15 women to one man. I believe a personal
introduction through other means has a better chance
than these functions. Maybe I should just hang out
at your deli and see what develops."
Note: Tom owns a deli called Tutor and Spunky's in Dana
Point, California. It was founded in 1988 and is still going
strong in 2004.
Singles should pursue activities in which they have an
interest, to enhance their lives, and not just for the
purpose of finding a mate or a date. Get involved.
Make new friends. Don't just focus on "singles" groups.
Consider starting a group of your own. You only need a
nucleus of two or three people. Have a charitable
mission. Plan to be together during the holidays, which are
always tough on singles. People wait until the week of
Xmas, and ask what can they do to be with someone.
By then, it's too late. The time to plan is year around.
Networking through friends and acquaintances-getting the word
out that, "Hey, I'd like to meet other singles, do you
know of anybody?" is the most effective and least
expensive tool a single can use.
The country received a wake-up call on September 11, 2001.
Consider this column your wake-up call also. Commit to
expanding your interests and get out there. Where?
Wherever it's best for you.
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