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Valentine's Day. Tough on some older singles. Finding love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake provides dating information and advice for widowers,
widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
See bottom of this page to sign up for Tom's free weekly e-mailed column
Valentines for older singles
© 2004 by Tom Blake
Valentine's Day is two weeks away. For some singles, it can be a difficult time, but for others, it will be just another Saturday night without a date.
Valentine's shouldn't be a big deal this year. Saturday is usually date-night anyway, and seasoned singles have learned to cope 52 times per year with being
alone on date night. Fred Griffin, 61, Culver City, Cal., shared his plans for Valentine's night: "I'm doing absolutely nothing."
Peggy Martin, Peachtree City, Ga., says, "Several of my lady friends and I will be dining out at a wonderfully expensive restaurant. Later, at home alone, I will sip
a glass of wine while relaxing luxuriously in my Jacuzzi tub listening to great music. Why give up the things I enjoy because there isn't a man currently in my life?"
When I didn't have a partner--six years ago--I avoided eating out on Valentine's night. Restaurants are jammed with couples. Who wants to be asked by the
hostess, particularly on that night, "Just one?" and then wait an hour to be seated while being reminded that you're the only single in the place? Besides, many restaurants
bump up their prices on Valentine's.
Valentine's is a good night to stay home. Plan ahead and cook a nice meal. Have a single friend or two over. Rent a couple of movies you've wanted to see
but haven't gotten around to. Just don't make them syrupy love-story flicks. If you prefer a movie out, theatres traditionally aren't as busy on Valentine's so go and enjoy a movie.
Treat yourself. Flowers are good but get them a few days before or the day after. Buying roses on Valentine's Day is insane, even for yourself. If you have a
fireplace, toss a couple of logs on the fire and curl up with Fido or a good book. Enjoy a better bottle of wine than usual.
Cheryl Perry, Benton Harbor, Mich., says, "I'm taking ballroom dancing lessons just for the love of dancing and will enjoy a Valentine's dance at the studio along
with other students. The setting is far more comfortable and more fun than a singles dance."
M.P. Wylie, Irvine, Calif., relationship coach (www.JourneyToLove.com to join her newsletter), will be a sponsor
of a "Celebration of Love" dinner and dance in Los Angeles. She expects 250 people to participate.
John Stratton, Niles, Mich., e-mails, "On Valentine's, I'll attempt to find a lady to enjoy lunch or dinner." John says he has Notre Dame season basketball tickets in nearby South Bend,
Ind., but can't find women who want to go to games with him.
Jan Gissel, Tustin, Calif., says, "It's just another day with no particular significance for me. I accept the stats and don't sit around bemoaning my singleness.
I'm a healthy, happy, busy lady who doesn't need a man to 'complete' me." (Jan admits, however, it'd be nice to have a date now and then.)
If you start feeling a tad lonely, remind yourself that being single isn't so bad. Dolores Williams, Temecula, Calif., says, "I've been married and unhappy and
single and unhappy and single and unhappy is better." Doris is right, even on Valentine's.
This year, remind yourself, it's just another Saturday night.
Reader Comments
Janet Mariani, Dallas, "Usually I find your articles right on, but this time fresh from a 'bruised' heart, I don't. Valentine's isn't just another Saturday night...It's
the stuff that makes the world go around...It's a tender night and should be treated as such." Valentine's is a big deal."
Joe, Los Angeles: "How do I contact those dating services you said can't find men? They must not be looking hard enough."
Hans, Long Beach Singles Sailors, is looking for 36 people (three groups of 12) willing to car pool to San Diego to ride on Dennis Conner's Stars & Stripes
boat for a couple of hours, sometime in the next two months. Cost per person is $50.00. E-mail:
hanswitten@netzero.com.
Personal ads of the week
Personals of the week: To post a personal Click here. Always be careful when dealing with strangers. While we have a
wonderful group of readers, a bad apple could infiltrate our ranks.
Aliso Viejo, Calif., 61, brown hair, blue eyes, mustache. 5'9", 160 pounds, enjoy movies, animals, romantic dinners by the ocean, travel, especially Las Vegas,
and comedy clubs. Easy going, caring and affectionate. Seeking caring, loving, romantic 50-58 with similar interests.E-mail:
stanpete@cox.net
Mission Viejo, Calif., Attractive, professional, female, early 50's, brown hair and blue eyes, 5'4" about 130 pounds. I have assorted pets, am a foster mother to
a teenager, a doting aunt and like to be a part of nature. I follow Native American spiritualism and have an interest in alternative healing. Seeking gentleman with similar
interests who would like to journey on the path in this lifetime together. E-mail:
caldwellc7@cox.net
New Jersey Widow. Physically fit and financially secure feels life is not meant to be lived alone at 64. A tall single guy who loves the arts, travel, smiles easily,
and has spirit to share would be that special someone for whom I'd care. If you have the same background and interests, this New Jersey Devil (fan) would like to hear from you.
E-mail audreygoldberg@patmedia.net
Tom Blake
P.O. Box 442
Dana Point, CA 92629
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