Tom Blake - Finding Love After 50 website

Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic: Why singles need and seek dating information.

Why Singles Need Dating Information

Column hits home with midlife singles
By TOM BLAKE Special to the Register

When people contact me, they often explain why they read a column about being single at middle age.

Most of the half-million singles over age 45 in Orange County share a common bond: They didn't expect to be alone at this age and weren't prepared for it. They tell me the Register has filled a need and struck a chord by providing a column written specifically for singles their age.

"Thanks for a column that gets people talking and gives encouragement to all of us who are out there," e-mailed Marcia of Tustin. "Women talk with each other but rarely hear the guy's side of things."

Jerry of Long Beach e-mailed that he speaks from the perspective of still looking for a mate, five years after his divorce. "Your column is popular because middle-age dating is difficult. You remind us there is no guarantee that breaking up with somebody is going to lead to finding your true love."

Mary of Garden Grove reads the column because "It's an eye-opener and godsend for me and others. I've been dating a guy (or think we're dating), but he is out of town a lot, calls me the day before he is ready to go back out of town, and we see each other for a few hours. You got me thinking, why don't we see each other during the time he's in town?"

A 58-year-old Huntington Beach woman said she was too high-profile to allow the use of her name but shared this: "I enjoy the balanced and positive points of view you bring to the mature dating game."

Lin of Tustin teaches workshops on John Gray's "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" principles in Orange County. Lin says: "I'm a divorced 54-year-old male (no children) who has done a lot of reading on the subject of relationships/human behavior. Your column addresses a much-needed topic."

Seniors usually explain why they seek singles information. "We single seniors (I feel like a junior) need all the help and advice we can find!" Pam of Laguna Woods said.

Widowed people willingly share why they read the column. Phyllis of San Clemente e-mailed: "I just finished reading your column and want to thank you for giving me hope for the future. My husband died suddenly two years and four months ago. I joined a group of widows and widowers here in Orange County. It's been so good for me. I have several new friends, and the club has lots of different things going on."

Shirley, a widow for four years, reads the column because she wants to know what's she's doing wrong. "I was happily married for over 40 years. I think I scare men off. I'm outgoing, friendly, pretty, clean, fun-loving and dress nicely. I would like to find someone to travel with, go to movies, dance."

He doesn't have to be rich, but has to able to take care of himself," said Shirley of Lake Forest: "I'm a widow who recently moved back to California after living in Arizona for eight years. I'm not looking for a flaming romance but would love to make some friends in the area so I might have companions to go to the movies and local cultural events with. Want to know how to overcome the challenges I face and where to go to establish a safe and positive social circle."

People read the Register online. Donna who lives near Bangor, Maine, e-mailed: "I'm interested in your columns because I've raised our kids (hubby died in 1980 at 35), got seven grands and am still only 54. I'm interested in living MY LIFE now. I sure need some updating on life in the 2000s for a single middle-age female looking for relationships and whatever else."

Pattie of Orange wrote: "I'm a single mom 50 daughter 19, son 13, divorced for over 10 years. Employed full time from my home so I need info."

Most people seek information and ideas on where to go and what to do. Also, reading about others who have met mates provides encouragement. And some (I hope) even read the column for entertainment. Oh, here's an e-mail I overlooked - from Alix of Mission Viejo - "I enjoy reading your columns and find them interesting and fun."

Thank you, Alix, thank you.


"Most of the 55-65 men I have seen are frumpy, lumpy, dumpy and grumpy." Response: Sounds like the seven dwarfs from "Snow White" or the gravy I made last week for dinner.

Diane Young: "I'm a 55-year-old woman who has trouble finding men who aren't married, over-the-hill physically, or looking for much younger women." Response: We've heard that complaint before.

Jean, Orange: "Our new Skirts 'n' Shirts Square Dance class started, and we have 13 single women and two single men. Too bad more single men don't take to square dancing." Response:Contact Jean at (714) 633-0733 for details.

Cheryl, Newport Beach: "It was interesting reading that men find it just as hard to meet women as women to meet men." Response: I still don't believe it.

Jeanette, Irvine: "The majority of men want the young, beautiful, silicone, Botox Babies, especially in Orange County." Response: I think most older men prefer natural over silicone and Botox.

Friday, February 21, 2003

Tom's other sites

Travel After 55
A Guide for Senior Travel and Romance

How 50 Couples Found Love After 50

Tutor and Spunky's Deli in Dana Point

Prime Rib & Boxcars...
Whatever Happened to Victoria Station

Tom's Ebooks

Tom's 5-star rental property in Sonoma County, California

2011 by Tom Blake
Website by Harold Hingle -