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Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's
topic: An about to be divorced woman with sex and fun on her mind.
A Woman With an Opinion--
Sex and Freedom and Sexual Freedom
A 43-year-old south Orange County woman who is getting a divorce and "looking forward to being single again" contacted me. She said she wrote because she is perplexed
by many of the comments I quote from readers. Note: These are her words, not mine.
"…the folks who write to you have a very different concept of middle-age than I…the only way I can explain some of the more archaic approaches to sex and relationships that
I'm reading about in your column is they must come from people of a different generation," she said.
Here's another: "For a woman to ask if a man admiring her 'is just a testosterone-related function,' really astonishes me. Of course it is, and what the heck is wrong with that?"
And another: "It's that very testosterone that fuels a man's interest in women to begin with, and it drives not only the physical attraction, but very often the psychological attraction as
well. It surprises me that anyone 'middle aged' can be so naïve that she can't grasp the connection."
One more: "It makes me rather downhearted to think of a lot of older women discounting the importance of sexual attraction and complaining of men wanting sex. It just encourages
the stereotype that good girls avoid sex and bad boys demand it," she said.
Reminder: these aren't my words. I'm quoting a 43-year-old woman here. And she isn't finished: "…in my world, women aren't seen as sluts because they enjoy sex with or without
a relationship."
She added that she is looking forward to enjoying the company of men "in "every" sense of the word, because she loves men. Sounds like she's going to rolling around
in the hay often. I hope she uses protection.
She finished on this subject by saying she wasn't looking for a relationship any time soon; she just wanted to have fun (sounds like words from that Cyndi Lauper song).
(And no guys, I'm not going to give out her name or number so don't ask me for them.) I would have called her to discuss these "issues" in person but I'm in a wonderful committed
relationship.
She also scolded men who complain that the women they're dating don't make enough time for them. "One of the worst aspects of American marriage is the notion that once
you're a couple, you're supposed to do EVERYTHING together, and share all your interests," she said. (On this point, I totally agree with her).
She ended by saying, "When women, who still carry the bulk of the responsibility for their children and their households, are finally on their own and free to do whatever they want,
you'd better believe they're going to give themselves priority for a change.
"So, cut a lady a little slack if, after years of setting higher priorities for the needs of others, she's the top priority in her life for a change."
Frankly, I'm glad we have readers like her who aren't afraid to express their opinions. It's refreshing. My only comment is that she may not find the single world as fun and easy to
navigate as she seems to think it will be.
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