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Author and columnist Tom Blake provides dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged singles
boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate. In this column: Protect four personal items.
Protect Yourself
© 2004 by Tom Blake
Older singles need to be dating savvy
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers
June 3, 2004
As an older single, protect four things when dating.
The first is your heart, which can have a mind of its own. You're lonely and would like a mate. You miss sharing and feel empty. You're vulnerable and let your
guard down.
One Orange County widow became involved with "a gentleman" who was a con artist, "a pathological liar," she said. She considers herself to be intelligent,
street-smart, well-educated and grounded. A telephone call from the man's stepdaughter revealed his darker side.
She
found out before major damage was done, but her heart
was bruised. While loneliness is difficult, having
one's heart broken at our age is worse. Be careful
where you allow your heart to lead you. Listen to your
brain, gut and instinct.
Learn
the ropes. Don't be naïve or gullible.
Protect your health. With the proliferation of male
enhancement drugs like Viagra, Levitra and Cialis,
some older men think they're King Kong and treat sex
like a bag of popcorn.
Judy
Fink of AARP says reckless sex can be dangerous:
"Remind people about serious health risks from
unprotected sex. HIV and AIDS are increasing in people
over 50 – heterosexual folks – deciding to become
sexually active without testing themselves and their
potential partners."
Walk
away from sex if you're being rushed. Percentage-wise,
the fastest-growing age group to contact HIV and other
sexually transmitted diseases is age 50-plus. Don't
become one of those stats.
Protect your drink glass. "Is Tom joking?" you ask.
One
Orange County woman was invited to a Laguna Niguel
man's house for dinner. After dining and nice
conversation, she woke up at three in the morning in
his bed. He had placed a date-rape drug in her wine
glass. Not in a bar, not by stranger, but by a man
she'd previously dated.
When
you're among strangers having a drink – wine, soda,
coffee, fruit juice – don't let your glass or cup out
of your sight from the moment the bartender pours it.
Protect your assets. On May 24, the Register featured
a front page story written by Andrew Galvin titled,
"Senior investors fear savings were stolen." Galvin
reported that an investment firm in Brea had taken in
$144.8 million mainly from senior investors. Most of
it's missing. Bill Miller, La Habra, an 84-year-old
widower, invested $300,000. He's certain it's gone.
In
1999, a 61-year-old Laguna Niguel man was sent to
prison for the third time for financially defrauding
women. He'd been married 11 times and masqueraded as a
fireman, race car driver, contractor and pilot. He'll
be released soon.
Widows are particularly vulnerable. Often, their
husbands made the financial decisions. Mr. Right comes
along and offers to help with your finances.
Have
him checked out by a private investigator. Keep assets
in your name; you need to be in control of your money.
One
woman commingled her funds with her new husband "to
prove her love for him." He kept his assets separate.
In the divorce, he got half of hers and kept his.
Protect yourself – fiercely
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