Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic: Unhappy singles.

Unhappy singles.
Not everyone digs this column.

Occasionally, I strike a nerve with a reader, and hear about it.

Such is the case with Laguna Niguel resident, Fairlene.

In the comments section two weeks ago, this ran:

“Margie, age 75, Rancho Santa Margarita: ‘I’ve been divorced 30 years. It took me years to acquire my comfortable home, to realize I’m important and valuable and will not throw these things away to pick up any man’s dirty socks, cook and watch him click the remote control.’”

I responded, “Move the television to a different room.”

Fairlene responded by e-mail. I respect Fairlene, she has made many positive contributions to my columns over the years.

She wrote: “I really hate it when you make those smart-assed remarks to women (Margie) who have their acts together. It really is a turn off to reading your column.”

I thought Margie’s comment was too sweeping, placing all men in the dirty-socks, remote-control-pushing category. Not all men act that way.

Instead, of writing something to that effect, I thought I’d put a humorous spin on it. That didn’t fly with Fairlene.

“Of course you knew that I would agree with her because my life does not revolve around ‘meeting a man’ any more,” Fairlene wrote.

If Fairlene is satisfied with her life, I think it’s great. I respect women who think that way. My 91-year-old mother was widowed 37-years ago. She felt the quality of her life would be better living without a man. She’s the epitome of success of a woman living on her own.

In discussing this column with my girlfriend Greta, she said, “The more intelligent a woman is, the more independent she’s going to be.”

And then Fairlene wrote: “It's still fun to read your column to see what the ‘beautiful people’ are doing - much like reading the society page.”

I’m glad she still enjoys reading the column. I try not to offend any readers. And yes, I do write about “beautiful people,”—everyday people like you and me who are trying the best we can to deal with the curve balls that life throws at us.

“Instead of being flippant why didn't you tell her the truth and say that it makes you angry when some women don't want to pick up after, and take over the bothersome tasks, that are reserved for the little woman,” wrote Fairlene.

Here’s where I emphatically disagree with her. No, it doesn’t make me angry. It makes me happy when women don’t cater to men’s dirty socks, or demands for food or anything. While I write from the man’s perspective--after all, I am a man— if I’m pro anything in this column, it’s usually pro-women.

I believe most men and women who read this column are too intelligent to tolerate having to pick up a partner’s dirty socks.

Lost in this discussion is the 520-word column from that day—about couples needing to plan retirement together--which had good advice, but was overlooked.

I’ve got to stop writing now, the 49ers and Giants football game is about to start, and, I, have to switch to that channel.

Reader Comments and Tom’s Responses:

Karen, Laguna Niguel: “Five years ago, my husband and I mailed a copy of your book to a male friend who dated much younger women. Now, he dates a woman only five years younger. Response: He likely read the book and came to his senses: Dating someone closer to his age is wiser. Besides, he probably couldn’t keep up with the younger women.

John, Laguna Niguel: “My wife and I read your column about the retirement tips. We think about those issues.” Response: Planning retirement is wise, even for young people such as yourself.