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Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's
topic: What Tom has learned about dating and being single after 7 years of writing newspaper columns about it.
We Never Stop Learning
A reader asked if I'd give a speech on what I've learned in seven years of writing a column for middle aged singles. Made me stop and think. Here are a few of my thoughts.
There are tons of lonely middle aged and older people in Orange County and the world. Most would like to have a mate, but after so many years of being married, they don't know
how to go about finding one. They weren't prepared to be single. It's a difficult pursuit.
Many women give up hope of ever meeting someone. They blame their misfortune on a variety of reasons: older men going after younger women, being overweight, or just not
knowing where to go. They find every fault they can muster on why men are such jerks and yet they want to be with a man. Doesn't sort. They say all of the good men are taken.
I feel bad for them. I hate to see anybody sad, or lonely. But, they need an attitude replacement--like some people need a hip replacement--so they can live again.
Some women who find themselves in the situation above
take the bull by the horns and do something about it. They get up
and they get out. Many of them end up meeting a good man-I write
those kinds of stories frequently in this column and in my
Orange County Register "Single Again" column because it's
important for people to understand there can be hope and
opportunity, particularly when they create it themselves.
I've learned not to write about religion and sex together. Recently, a divorced Christian woman who doesn't believe in sex outside of marriage asked how other Christians feel about
that. I presented my opinions because I felt they needed to be said. Bad idea. Regardless of what I say, or what anybody says, people who believe in the Bible are staunch. Religious beliefs run a
thousand fathoms deep. They cause wars. So, religion/sex is a topic I will avoid in the future.
I've learned that some people won't freshen their thinking. They won't learn to use a computer, they won't call a man for a date, they won't offer to pay for a date, they won't
exercise, they won't be honest, open, or willing to communicate or admit when something hurts. They're mired in a "that's-not-the-way-I-was-raised" mentality. As long as they think that way, the world's
going to pass them by.
I've learned that some people won't freshen their thinking. They won't learn to use a computer, they won't call a man for a date, they won't offer to pay for a date, they won't exercise, they won't be
honest, open, or willing to communicate or admit when something hurts. They're mired in a "that's-not-the-way-I-was-raised" mentality. As long as they think that way, the world's going to pass them by.
These are just a few items off the top of my head I've learned over the last seven years. I'll come up with more as the speech draws near, and share them with you.
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