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Senior sex and senior dating. Author and columnist Tom Blake writes dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men,
divorced women, middle-aged singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
Nicholson movie delivers 5 messages
for older singles
©2004 by Tom Blake
Senior Sex and Senior Dating: Older men dating younger women and
older women dating younger men--the five messages of the movie "Something's Gotta Give."
Older men who think they need to date younger women and older women who think they need to date younger men should see the new movie "Something's
Gotta Give." The picture delivers five messages to singles who fit into those categories.
If you haven't seen the movie, don't read this column until after you've gone. I don't want to spoil the story for you.
Jack Nicholson plays a mid-60s lecherous single guy who's never been married and who dates women 30 years younger.
Diane Keaton plays a 57-year-old successful Broadway playwright and single mother of one of the young women Nicholson dates.
Much of the movie takes place in the single mom's posh vacation home in the Hamptons on New York's Long Island.
Like so many older single guys these days, Nicholson dates younger women to bolster his ego. He seeks youth and beauty, not realizing or caring that
pursuing those superficial qualities can lead to an empty life. Commitment to a relationship isn't on his list of priorities.
While at the vacation home, Nicholson has a heart attack and is rushed to the emergency room. His young girlfriend arranges for him to recuperate under her
mother's care at the vacation home while the girlfriend returns to her job in New York City.
The movie's first message: singles need to ask, will my much younger lover remain by my side if I become ill?
While recovering, Nicholson observes the qualities an older woman can bring to a relationship-love, warmth, caring, maturity, and wisdom. He's puzzled
because he finds he cares for her.
Despite knowing that something's missing in her life, Keaton is a single woman with a positive attitude and a successful career. While helping Nicholson
recover, she falls in love with him. She allows herself to become vulnerable by telling him she loves him and by having a steamy affair. She hopes a relationship will develop.
The movie's second message: older people can enjoy wonderful senior sex together even though they may have been out of practice for years. But as
Nicholson finds out in the E.R., Viagra and nitroglycerin don't mix.
When Nicholson is feeling better, he dismisses any thoughts of commitment with Keaton. His roving eye kicks back in and he resumes pursuing younger
woman.
When Keaton sees Nicholson in a restaurant with a younger woman, she's devastated, and angry at herself for getting involved with him. She starts a
relationship with the handsome doctor who treated Nicholson in the emergency room. The doctor is nearly 25 years her junior and crazy about her.
That's where the movie delivers the third message: like older men, older women have more in common and are more compatible with someone closer to their
age and are usually better off. There just seems to be something missing in Keaton's relationship with the doctor.
It takes Nicholson six months to face the realization that he loves Keaton and his life is empty without her.
Once he manages to reel her back into his life, we see a changed man.
He inherits a family and becomes a grandfather figure. We see him beaming while holding, lifting and hugging Keaton's grandchild. No more holidays alone
for this converted bachelor.
And therein lies the fourth message: people close in age can more readily share the treasure of extended families and grandkids.
"Something's Gotta Give" subtly delivers a fifth message to older singles who think they need to date younger people:
When a person older than you were hoping for comes along-and they are perfect for you--don't turn your back thinking you need someone younger.
Make a commitment and give it a go. If not, you may miss the greatest relationship in your life and not be as fortunate as Nicholson and Keaton are in the movie.
Reader comments and upcoming events
Joe, Los Angeles, "My New Year's resolution is to cancel my membership to my online dating service:
www.mentalcase.com."
Request from Tom: I'm doing a column on widowers and would like to hear from any widower willing to share what they are doing to regain a social life.
Full names and cities please.
Contact me by e-mail at TPBlake@aol.com or
by writing to P.O. Box 442, Dana Point, CA 92629.
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