In my last column, 14 single women expressed their frustrations with single men. This week, the men respond.

"From my perspective, there's a chronic shortage of women suitable to date. I've met and 'qualified' several hundred women, experiencing at least one date with over 100," e-mailed Bob, 62, Corona del Mar, who describes himself as "physically, emotionally and fiscally healthy."

"Many over-40 women I've met are angry at ex-husbands, boyfriends, dating partners or any combo thereof. The anger gets transferred to me when I've done nothing. Repressed female hostility is at the top of my red-flag list.

"I have experienced misinterpretation of my actions based on a woman's experiences with a prior mate. Each man is an individual. Just because he enjoys hot sauce on his eggs like your ex does doesn't mean he'll be abusive to you as your ex was."

James, Mission Viejo, said, "This may sound cruel but the world is a lot less romantic after age 50 than women would like. Women should understand that while they want to get to know a man before having sex, men want sex before deciding if they want to get to know a woman."

Taking a stronger stance, Barry, early 50s, Aliso Viejo, said, "Most middle-age women I've encountered seek a free meal. They're in financial difficulty; lack healthy boundaries with their children, family and friends; and never break ties with the exes.

"Women get offended when I tell them I have no intention to remarry or live with anyone. And they expect a middle-age man to be similar in stamina and physique to a man 20-30 years younger."

Fred, 61, Culver City, echoed that. "I joined a singles site. Seems like 95 percent of the women in my age group are looking for someone in their late 40s or early 50s, making over 100K, who doesn't smoke or drink."

Two San Francisco men e-mailed. "I married into an almost all-female family and the women ruled. That took care of ever wanting to marry again," wrote George, who's divorced. "I've seen women wearing T-shirts that read, 'A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.' Facing attitudes like that, it's no wonder eligible men stay home and watch sports on TV."

Ed wrote, "In San Francisco, you smile at a gal to say hello and you get that stare like you offended them."

Carl, 50s, Dana Point, said, "Meeting women isn't easy. Single women have an air of self-sufficiency and non interest difficult to read. I suggest ditching the coy acts of disinterest, smile and make it apparent there's an initial interest. Strike up a conversation, comment on the frozen food or remark on the weather - just make contact. Opportunities for both sexes are fleeting if initiation isn't made."

And Tom, Warren, Mich., e-mailed, "Women who complain too much about men may last one or two dates. Guys don't want to be changed or controlled and will move on."

Now that women and men have expressed their frustrations, I expect we'll soon be hearing of a number of budding, successful relationships.

Reader Comments

Anne Wolfe, Anchorage, Alaska: "I'm a young widow, 49. I joined the Alaska Dancing Bears as a way to get out and socialize. It's a dancing group with people of all ages; you don't need a partner." Response: Glad you clarified. At first, I thought you were dancing with grizzlies.

Joe, Dana Point: "I saw my ex-girlfriend's profile on Yahoo Personals. She's looking for a man making over $100,000. Good thing I got out when I did." Response: I doubt if she'll have a big response.

Note from Tom: For a list of clubs and activities for singles in Orange County, visit www .findingloveafter50.com and click on O.C. activities at the bottom of the page.