Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic:

Wanted: Marriage-minded man

Our communication started out rocky. Let me explain.

A reader named Diane sent me an e-mail about Jodie: "My best friend of thirty-five years needs a good man!" Diane described Jodie as being"…so kind in spirit, funny in words and deeds and is a quality person. Like many of us, she's gained a few pounds and has the lines of someone who has lived a full life."

Diane wanted to know if I could make any suggestions "about where/how to meet a marriage-minded man, for a forty-nine-year old wonderful woman?"

We singles are lucky if we have friends like Diane, who care about us, and hope for our happiness. So far, so good, right?

I responded with what I considered to be sage advice, and suggested if a person is thinking of dating again, and is "a few pounds overweight," it's an indication that they don't take of themselves as much as they should, and they should shed some pounds.

A few days later, a stranger started sending me instant messages on AOL. At first I thought it was Diane's boyfriend because the person referred to Diane as "my girlfriend." That confused me because I had assumed from the tone of Diane's initial e-mail that Diane was married.

The person didn't identify herself and came across as being angry and defensive (yes, people's attitudes do come through over the Internet). I couldn't figure out the connection to Diane until the instant messenger wrote, "I'm not fat."

I told the woman to send me an e-mail in lieu of an instant message so we could communicate in a sensible manner, and that I was heading out the door, which I was, and couldn't continue. She didn't send a follow-up e-mail.

Diane e-mailed, however, a few days later, and said, "She (Jodie) was quite incensed at my audacity to seek your counsel. She felt that you didn't recognize my point…she is quite attractive, does have the normal lines of a forty-nine-year old, is in good physical shape."

I'm not sure what "the normal lines of a forty-nine-year old" are. I've known some forty-nine-year olds whose bodies are worn like the walls of the Grand Canyon, and yet I know a 59-year-old whose non-surgically improved body is a marvel of nature.

Anyway, back to the story. Jodie finally e-mailed me: "I hope you aren't losing too much time off work reading and responding to your new pen pal, Diane. Who knows where she gets all that material." There again, attitude and sarcasm do show through on the Internet.

I decided to try to salvage my relationship with Jodie, after all, she is single and I write to try to help singles.

"I'm not losing time from work because writing and trying to help people is my work, well, my part-time work anyway," I wrote.

And then I attempted to disarm her: "From what Diane says, you are a pretty terrific person, which is why she cares about you."

Lo and behold, Jodie sent a warm and friendly message. We've exchanged positive e-mails with useful information since then. She is a nice person, now that she's not attacking anymore.

In the meantime, if you know of a good guy who wants to be with a wonderful forty-nine-year old with normal aging lines, let me know. I'll pass your information on to Diane, on second thought, I'll go directly to Jodie.

Author's note and update two years later: Jodie know longer communicates with me. She still hasn't found a man and her mouth continues to get her in trouble. She didn't undertake an exercise program and continues to battle the weight problem.

Bottom line: Attitude does show through on the Internet. Be careful how you word your messages. And don't blame others when the problem is yours.