Tom Blake - Finding Love After 50 website

Love at 65 on the internet

Don't give up hope
BLAKE: South County adviser on middle-age relationships
By TOM BLAKE For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers

Over the nine years of writing these columns (450 consecutive weeks), I've made friends with readers from Orange County, around the United States and in some foreign countries.

For the most part, we haven't met in person, but I feel a closeness to the people who've unselfishly shared their lives, thoughts, fears, and stories.

Middle age singles share a common bond few expected to be alone at this stage in their lives.

When I hear that something good has happened to one of these friends, it warms my heart.

Such is the case with Gale, age 65. She and I have exchanged e-mails for about three years.

Gale is an intelligent woman and has provided this column and others I've written with several sage quotes. She told me, "I began to accept that there MAY not be anyone out there for me. I dated, but no bells or whistles, no one I wanted to live with."

Gale resides in Leicester, N.C., a small town, where there aren't many singles her age.

She shocked me last Thursday with this e-mail. "Internet dating, as you and I BOTH AGREED, has many drawbacks. Until that is, "Mr. Right" or "Ms. Right" appears.

"I had to see it to believe it myself, but for me he has, and I didn't even have to pay a penny!"

Gale said she took advantage of two free weeks with an Internet matching service, saw a profile that appealed to her, and was intrigued because the man was near her age and his birthday, Nov. 20, is the same day as Gale's. Gale wrote, "Even distance hasn't stopped what obviously was meant to be.

He's a Yankee living in the Binghamton, N.Y., area, and I'm a transplanted Yank in NC. He came south, we spent five intense days learning more about each other than most do who've known their partners for years, and as I write this, he's moving south so we can 'put our furnishings together' and live a long, fulfilling life."

Gale said marriage isn't important to her but may be for him and what the tax adviser says will influence their decision.

"I'm writing this to encourage your readers. I agree with the message you wrote in the Jan. 24 OC Register column about not giving up, and leave you with these words: 'Miracles DO happen, for those who believe.'"

I've written many columns about the dangers and pitfalls of meeting people via the Internet, and that people need to be careful.

But, the Internet makes it possible for people in different and remote areas of the country who otherwise wouldn't have met to meet.

Some rush decisions, hoping that another person will improve their lives.

In Gale's case, I think she knows what's she's doing.

She and her man are close to the same age, share similar roots and are motivated to be together.

No matter how impossible singles' situations may seem, and how resigned they are to spending the rest of their lives alone, they should never give up making an effort to meet new people. Gale's story brings hope to us all.

Weekly comments:

R.C., Laguna Niguel, "My wife and I loved your Paris column, felt like we were walking in your shoes." Response: We put some serious mileage on those shoes.

Jim, San Juan Capistrano, "I grew up in Wisconsin, but have lived in Orange County for years. I'm married; we love your column." Response: Must be that Midwestern connection we share.

Lynn, Dana Point: "Regarding last week's story: Interesting, too much drama for me!!!!!!!!! Whew..."

Jim, Laguna Beach: "Whew! What a nightmare! Mike (from last week) won't do THAT again soon!

To comment on Middle Age Relationships, e-mail or write P.O. Box 442, Dana Point, CA, 92629. Please include your full name and city of residence.

Tom's other sites

Travel After 55
A Guide for Senior Travel and Romance

How 50 Couples Found Love After 50

Tutor and Spunky's Deli in Dana Point

Prime Rib & Boxcars...
Whatever Happened to Victoria Station

Tom's Ebooks

Tom's 5-star rental property in Sonoma County, California

2011 by Tom Blake
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