Love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged singles and senior singles
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Love After 50 Starts 8th year by Tom Blake
"Love After 50," the column for older singles, started seven years ago today (July 4, 1994). Oh my gosh, how my life has changed.
Back then, middle age singles issues
weren't as important as they are today.
Baby boomers hadn't started to turn
50. Now, almost 15 million of them
are there, and over half are divorced.
If you're an older single, over 45, you've
got a lot of company. There are nearly 35
million of us who aren't married.
The most frequently-asked
question I hear is: "Where can I meet
someone to date?" It's the hardest
question to answer because there's
no simple response.
People come into my Dana Point (Calif) sandwich
shop, knowing I write these Baby Boomer columns, ask
that question, and then step back, cross
their arms, and expect in one minute I can
solve their dating woes.
I tell them, "My middle name isn't
Viagra. There's no magic answer
or pill you can take. First, middle age
singles have to
commit to get off the couch and out of
the house. Second, pursue activities that
interest you, and revitalize your life. You may
live for another 50 years. Worry about
yourself; don't make finding a mate
your sole pursuit."
For me, life in the last eight years
has been an adventure. The reason the
columns began was an unexpected departure
on Xmas Eve. by my wife, when she cleaned
out our home and left without notice.
Then, I wallowed in the middle age dating
trenches for a couple of years.
After that, I was involved in a three-year gut-
wrenching relationship. Relationships shouldn't
be that difficult, especially when we care.
Three years ago, a kind, considerate, warm,
friendly, understanding, non-demanding,
caring, and appreciative woman ordered a carrot
juice in my deli. I asked her to dinner, and we've
been together since. We're almost the same age.
I realize I'm one of the luckiest people on the
planet because of her.
Update from Tom Blake: We're still together,
now it's 5 and a half years (Dec., 2003).
This column now blankets a good portion
of south Orange County California-Dana Point, Laguna
Niguel, San Juan Capistrano, Aliso Viejo,
Mission Viejo, Rancho Santa Margarita,
Laguna Hills, and now, just added-and I'm
thrilled about this-San Clemente. I don't
know how many readers are under this
umbrella, but I guess 40,000 or more.
The years have brought two appearances on
the Today Show, a book, with another in the
works, And, my "Single Again" column appears in
The Orange County Register (300.000 readers).
But, my heart is closest to older singles, readers of
this column. Many of you I know in person;
many are friends although we haven't met.
I'm amazed at the personal information some
of you reveal to me.
Thanks for sharing, thanks for caring.
Now, back to this monster we call
middle age dating.