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Finding love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged
singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
Finding Love After 50
© 2004 by Tom Blake
A Long-Distance Relationship That Worked
To be successful, long-distance relationships must overcome many challenges. The biggest: one of the two people involved has to be willing to uproot
his or her life to move.
And there's always the risk that it won't work out. I admire people who have the fortitude to give it a go and make it a success.
JoAnne had lived in New Jersey for 33 years. Divorced for 12 years, she put her two sons through college and kept busy working three jobs. Her ex-husband
had passed away five years after the divorce.
On June 28 of last year, JoAnne was visiting a friend and coworker, who had just returned home after a hospital stay. While at her friend's house, JoAnne
met her friend's brother-in-law, Charlie Barlow--of Placentia-a recent widower, who was staying at the house on vacation.
Three days later, JoAnne returned to her friend's house to attend a family BBQ. She tried to make conversation with Charlie, but found him to be rather quiet.
At the end of the evening, JoAnne said, "Nice to meet you, Charlie Barlow," shaking his hand.
Charlie returned to California. He and JoAnne e-mail almost daily for five months.
In November, JoAnne came to visit her son, who had moved to San Diego. On her sixth night here, Charlie took JoAnne to visit his youngest daughter and his
new granddaughter.
"It was November 14," JoAnne said, "and there was a full moon, he put his arms around me and asked me to marry him. After getting up off the floor, I
answered 'yes' quickly, before he changed his mind.
"And then he said you know you're marrying a family of 11! Three daughters, three son-in-laws and five grandchildren."
"Since I couldn't stay, Charlie gave me a beautiful diamond engagement ring as a promise," said JoAnne.
She said because Charlie couldn't move to New Jersey, she knew she was the one who had to move. "I knew a long-distance romance wouldn't
work and was WILLING TO TAKE A CHANCE.
"I gave up my job, sold my house, kissed my friends good-bye (they were so happy for me), sold my car because it probably wouldn't meet California
emissions standards, called a mover and tried to figure out what was such a treasure that I could not part with."
JoAnne moved to Placentia in December, and now works for a prominent ophthalmologist in Orange. She and Charlie plan to marry this year.
"This has been a growth process for us. Yes, we had rose-colored glasses on, but it's been wonderful. We've had many interesting experiences. We
usually walk at 5 a.m., holding hands and discussing important issues. Once a month we celebrate our good luck in finding one another. On Saturdays, we bike the Santa
Ana River Canal and are now up to 33 miles," said JoAnne.
Her message to singles: "There is always HOPE and I believe fate played a part in this relationship."
We never know where or when opportunity will knock. And if our determination is strong enough, not even living 3000 miles apart will get in our way.
Good luck JoAnne and Charlie Barlow.
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