Tom Blake - Finding Love After 50 website

Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic: How to find a husband after age 35 the Harvard Business School way--say what?

Finding a husband after age 35?
I don't think so

A week ago Wednesday, the Orange County Register ran an article written by Barbara Kingsley in the "Life" section called, "It's all in the Packaging."

Barbara's article was about a new best-selling book titled, "Find a Husband After 35: Using What I learned at Harvard Business School," written by Rachel Greenwald.

I have no problem with Barbara's article, she wrote an informative, entertaining and fun-to-read piece. It's the book itself with which I have a few issues.

Ms. Greenwald writes, "The Program (the 15-step action program she recommends women follow to secure a husband) is effective for women at any age, whether they are 35 or 105.

"'The "Program' uses powerful marketing tactics that I learned at Harvard Business School...It will jump-start your dating life and get you married."

Having just published a book about finding love after 50, I don't think a book designed to help 35-year-old (and a few years above) women find a husband applies to women over 50. Lumping the challenges 30ish women face into the challenges older women face is like comparing lemons to cumquats.

Northing jumps out more than the statistics Ms. Greenwald includes on page 6: "There are 28 million single women over 35, but only 18 million single men over 35 (U.S. Census, 2000)!" Technically, Ms. Greenwald's statement is true, those are accurate numbers, there's a shortage of ten million men. But without studying the numbers more in depth, they're deceiving.

The numbers make it seem that those poor 35-year-old women have it as tough as women 50-plus, due to the lack of single men. That isn't so.

From age 35-39, there are more single men than single women. And between the ages of 35-49, the number of single women and single men are virtually the same. Women under age 50 don't have a shortage of men.

The shortage of men doesn't show up in the statistics until after age 50. Between 50-69, there are 1.7 single women for each single man. And don't tell a 75-year-old woman she faces the same challenges in meeting men as a 35-year-old. You won't get much sympathy from her.

On page 1, Ms. Greenwald says her book will, "...jump-start your dating life and get you married."

There are many suggestions in Ms. Greenwald's book that will jump-start a woman's dating life--at any age--I will grant her that. She has many, many helpful pieces of advice in her book.

But the "get you married" quote only applies to a few women 50-plus. A recent AARP study found only 8 percent of the women polled wanted a spouse. So the main premise of the book-to find a husband-doesn't apply to about 92 percent of women over 50. The problem here, as I see it, is trying to lump women of all ages into the same category.

I can't end this column without taking a friendly shot at the Harvard Business School. A great institution? No doubt. A Mecca for dating geeks, I don't think so.

I have an MBA from The University of Michigan. I didn't include "Using what I learned at the Michigan Business School" as the subtitle of my "Finding Love After 50" book because they don't teach dating there. And they don't teach it at Harvard either.

If 35-year-old women think they have it tough, let's sit them down with women over 50, so the young ones can find out what the real world is all about.

Reader Comments

Alix, Mission Viejo, sent me a cute picture of her and a friend sitting around the Palm Springs Marriott Hotel swimming pool reading copies of my book, "Finding Love After 50." Wow. Must have been a rather uneventful or quiet week-end.

Debra, Santa Ana, says perhaps the reason she's never been married is she was born on Friday, the 13th. Response: Could be. Or more likely, she just hasn't found the right guy yet.

Rose, Staten Island, New York, "I wish I had read your article about hidden dating language three years ago. The man I thought I was getting engaged to said he needed more time. That meant, YOU ARE NOT THE ONE. Response: Most of us have heard an excuse like that in our lives.

Tom's other sites

Travel After 55
A Guide for Senior Travel and Romance

How 50 Couples Found Love After 50

Tutor and Spunky's Deli in Dana Point

Prime Rib & Boxcars...
Whatever Happened to Victoria Station

Tom's Ebooks

Tom's 5-star rental property in Sonoma County, California

2011 by Tom Blake
Website by Harold Hingle -