Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating.
This column's topic: Falling in Love with someone you've never met in person.
Falling In Love With Someone You Never Met
Some middle-age people are lonely and make quick--and foolish--decisions, hoping to improve their situations. The Internet often plays a part in this scenario
by connecting people who live in different parts of the country.
One Orange County woman met a Pennsylvania man online. Each had children. They exchanged hundreds of e-mails and had so much in common, they
decided to marry and merge their families.
They agreed to meet once in person beforehand. She waited anxiously for him at the gate at LAX (this was before September 11). Both thought the other didn’t
show. When the gate area cleared, two people remained. They hadn’t recognized each other, both had posted 20-year-old photos.
He was unshaven, 30-pounds heavier than advertised, wearing a T-shirt, tennis shoes and blue polyester pants. His hair stood out like Bozo the clown’s.
He had a beeper attached to his fly. The relationship was over before they reached baggage claim.
In another case, Ann, a Dana Point woman, met a guy over the telephone who lived in Florida. After several phone calls, she allowed him to visit and
arranged for him to sleep on a boat in the harbor. After four days, he proposed and asked her to come to Florida to live.
She gave up her apartment and job, sold her furniture and car, and left in December, with a wedding planned for Valentine’s Day. She told me he was
a very romantic man.
She returned in January, and had to start all over again. The move set her back at least two years.
Patricia, married, two children, lives on New York’s Long Island. She e-mailed: “I’ve met the most marvelous, fantastic, exciting, sexy, intelligent man in a chat room on AOL and we’re
deeply in love.”
They hadn’t met in person, and yet she was ready to pack up her two kids and join him in Chicago. He was also married. She reasoned: “I never seen God
either but love him above all.”
In another situation, Gale, Leicester, North Carolina, wrote: “A recently divorced friend claims he’s met his ‘love’ over the Internet. After writing
and calling for months, she arrived here last Wednesday. They’re going back to California, selling her condo, and returning to buy a house where he and his two girls
can live. He’s known her all of four days. Is this crazy or is it me?”
A San Francisco Bay Area man named Charles e-mailed: “After living in the same residence alone for 21 years, I fell for a charming, vivacious woman
who lives in NW Georgia. We met over the Internet. I succumbed to my loneliness, married her in late 2000, and moved to Georgia.
“Things didn’t work out. I’m starting over, ruined financially, driving an old $300 car, and trying to put my life back together,” Charles said.
These people didn’t fall in love. They fell in love with the idea of love and made life-changing decisions that put themselves in a deeper hole than before.
Lesson learned: Don’t move to another city for someone without knowing them for at least five days.
READER COMMENTS AND TOM’S RESPONSES
Jerry, Chicago: “You’re ‘mature love’ column was right on target for me. I’m 50 and fell “in love” with a fitness instructor who is 38. I hadn’t experienced
the ‘feelings’ since I was young. Our relationship ended in a year. I’ve been forlorn for several months.” Response: You’d be wiser to seek a woman near your age who
shares your interests.
Note from Tom: Thanks to everybody for the kind notes about the Rentziperis family we wrote about last week. I will pass them on to Alex.