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E-mail etiquette. Author and columnist Tom Blake provides dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women,
middle-aged singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.
© 2004 by Tom Blake
Sept. 23, 2004
Interesting reading and relating between e-mail lines
Many people do not seem to realize how ego and other things come through in their brief correspondence.
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers
I get a lot of e-mails from readers, usually 300 to 400 per week, depending on the subject matter of my columns. It's obvious that some people are
unaware that attitude, ego and personality show through in the e-mails they send.
Common courtesy and etiquette are ignored with cut-to-the-chase and go-right-for-the-jugular types of messages. Makes me wonder if this is the way they
come on when meeting potential dates.
In an e-mailed response to my column about Costa Rica, one woman's opening sentence was that the trip sounded very boring. She said that instead of
snorkeling with my mate, I should have gone deep-sea fishing.
And then she listed the activities she would have done to improve the trip. She suggested I go on a more romantic trip next time and DEMANDED I write her
about it.
Seldom do I let myself get dragged into an argument with a reader, but I wrote back and said she was rude. She apologized, saying she didn't realize
she'd been so.
An Orange County reader responded to a different column by beginning his e-mail saying he was taking time out of his busy schedule to write. He
explained that he could write a book about what he's learned from dating.
He bashed women hard, saying that 80 percent of the women age 49-plus have lost interest in men and sex, while revealing what great shape he is in
and how wonderful he is.
He ended his e-mail repeating that he could write a book (but hasn't). This guy has no clue that his ego-driven personality came through loud and clear in
his e-mail.
Another OC guy who wouldn't provide his name or city opened his e-mail by accusing me of being brainwashed by older women because I suggested that
men would be better off dating women close to their age.
He then listed five "great" reasons for dating younger women, while comparing older women to pre-owned trucks with high mileage. Chauvinism showed
through in his e-mail. Doubt if he cares.
Another time, I featured a man in a column who was single and available, based on information he'd given me.
Woman who knew him responded that he was married and of questionable character. He demanded (there's that word again) I give him their e-mail
addresses. Nobody I know does well to demands, particularly newspaper writers.
And if that's the way they come across when meeting singles they'd like to date, they're going to lose out every time.
Because the majority of singles age 50-plus are kind, considerate, thoughtful and caring people. They don't tolerate rude and ego-driven behavior.
In the over-50 dating arena, poor etiquette doesn't open doors.
READER COMMENTS:
Tom 59, Stanton: "I get tired of hearing from a woman what a great man her ex or deceased husband was."
Response: When singles hear that, chances are the person hasn't properly healed and isn't prepared to date.
Caroll, Paris, France: "I'm in a long-distance relationship with a man in Florida I don't trust and my instinct has always told me he isn't right for me. What should I do?"
Response: You know the answer.
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