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Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic: Elderly love can happen. It's often between a widow and widower who knew each other while they were married to others. They kiss, they live together. But for this couple, marriage is not in the works.
Dale and Bernice
Dale was married in Lafayette, Illinois, in June, 1926. In January, 1927, he and his bride and another couple left Illinois in twenty-eight degrees below zero weather in a model T Ford to move to California. Prior to crossing the mountains, the brakes failed. A repair shop wanted eleven dollars to fix them, but the foursome didn't have the money. They made it over the mountains using reverse gear for brakes, and settled in Alhambra.
In 1973, Dale and his wife moved to Niguel Shores, in what is now Dana Point, Calif., about a block from where the Ritz Carlton Hotel was later built. Dale and his wife struck up a friendship with Bernice, a native of Alberta, Canada, and her husband, who had moved to the Shores in 1972.
Dale was the founding president of a men's club at the Shores in 1974, which is still active with 120 members. The two couples frequently dined and traveled together, and were close friends. Bernice's husband died and Dale's wife died in 1992. Later that year, when Dale kissed Bernice, she didn't object. They became a couple, and, according to Dale, "sort of" kept their own homes.
In 1998, because Bernice no longer could drive a car, she had to move from Niguel Shores. She asked Dale to drive her to The Fountains, a retirement community in Dana Point, to see what was available. They both liked one particular condo.
"If we lived here together, we could afford it," Dale said. Bernice was surprised, but didn't object. Dale took out his checkbook and bought the place that afternoon. They sold their Niguel Shores homes, and live together at The Fountains, while maintaining separate identities. Dale has his telephone, Bernice hers.
Dale said, "I had promised everyone in the Shores that I would never leave. But, you've got to do what you've got to do." He and Bernice are role-models among the residents of The Fountains.
They are active. They golf, play bridge, dance and travel--Alaska, the Panama Canal, and the British Isles are among their most recent destinations. Last month, Dale drove them to San Francisco. "He doesn't need eyeglasses," Bernice said, "not even to drive. He can read the fine print on a medicine bottle. But, he doesn't hear too well, and I don't see to well, so we complement each other."
I asked about marriage. "We can't," Bernice said, "I'd lose my government pension." Dale added, "Besides, by not being married, if one of us wants to pack our suitcase and leave, we can do just that."
Dale was married for sixty-six years. Bernice was married twice for a total of 48 years. Together, that's 114 years of marriage experience. They were holding hands when they walked up to meet me.
The key to their longevity? Dale said, "We both love people, happy people. We're optimistic; we don't worry and only live for today. We're convinced that attitude makes all of the difference." Bernice added that they've never had a harsh word.
The remarkable thing: Dale is 97. Bernice describes herself as, "eighty-plus." The rest of us can take a lesson from them.
Update 2005: Dale passed away within the last year.
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