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Finding Love After 50. Tom Blake has been writing a dating advice column for 11 years. Author and columnist Tom Blake provides dating information and
advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, boomer singles and senior singles who are seeking love after 50.,
Finding Love After 50 column turns 11.
Benefits widowers, widows and divorced people
By TOM BLAKE
Today marks the start of the 11th year of this dating advice column. When it began, I had no idea how long it would last.
On Christmas Eve 1993, my wife of seven years decided she'd had enough of me, took what furniture and belongings she wanted and moved out of my life.
I became unexpectedly single. I never dreamed I'd be alone after age 50 and thought finding a replacement partner would be easy. Many widows and widowers have
experienced similar feelings of emptiness.
For me, dating turned out to be so bizarre that I recorded my experiences in a journal, describing blind, good and bad dates, getting stood up, dumped and
rejected, and spending too much money on dating, pasta and pizza.
The column started when two women editors of the Dana Point News decided senior singles and mid-life singles would enjoy reading about the pathetic
dating exploits of an Orange County single man desperately seeking love.
Since July 1994, the column has appeared 521 times without missing a week. It's featured in nine south county newspapers and is read online by more than
5,000 senior singles and married people around the country.
Five years ago, a producer from the "Today" show called my Dana Point deli to ask if I'd come to New York to appear. I thought it was one of my football
rotisserie league buddies playing a trick on me. I've appeared twice. NBC billed me as an expert on dating after 50 – their words, not mine.
On my most recent appearance, Matt Lauer's first question was "Why is dating after 50 so difficult?"
I said, "Some of us haven't had a date in 30 years. We don't know how to begin, where to go or what to do."
Six years ago, a woman named Greta came to my deli and ordered fresh carrot juice. I said, "Would you like to have dinner?" We've been together since; I'm
blessed to have her in my life. Finding Love After 50 became a reality for me.
I'm also blessed because my 93-year-old mom continues to amaze me with her intelligence, wit and active lifestyle. Greta and I will be with her this weekend
at her home in Sonoma County. She'll probably drive us around to visit some wineries in her car. She's my best friend; I was born on her birthday.
The most frequently asked question I hear from women: "Where are the men?" At age 60, single women outnumber single men 3-to-1, at age 70, it's 5-to-1.
Women shouldn't blame themselves for not having a mate; there's a shortage of men.
I tell singles it's important to remember that being alone isn't so bad, in fact it's pretty darn good. It's far better than being in an unhappy relationship.
Singles should commit to having a good life, with or without a mate, because they may live for another 30 to 50 years. Getting out of the house and
socializing with people is vital.
I'm pleased that married couples read the column. They tell me it makes them appreciate their spouses more.
Will the column continue? Yes, as long as readers take the time to share their opinions and experiences.
Some of you will find love. When you do, let us know. Good news inspires hope.
Thanks for your help and support. I feel a special friendship with so many of you.
Weekly comments
Bob, Corona Del Mar: "The No..1 red flag I look for in the first few dates is repressed anger waiting to target a male with whom
a woman becomes intimate."
Response: Women need to be equally aware, this senior dating and mid-life dating street is two-way.
Pat, Orange County: "Good article on abuse. People can call the Orange County Adult Protective Services at 1-800- 451-5155."
Contact Blake at TPBlake@aol.com or write to P.O. Box 442, Dana
Point, CA 92629. Include your full name and city. Web site:www.findingloveafter50.com
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