Dating services -- proceed cautiously

Beware:
Some dating services have a dark side
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers

Using a dating service to meet potential mates is one of the options available to singles.

But not all experiences with them are favorable.

Cheri Jessup, 53, was so upset with an Orange County dating service, she e-mailed the details. "I spent 3 hours in their office — personality tests, long discussions about your preferences, etc. I didn't know until later that their 'fee' is based on your income and all those 'tests,' and that their show of sincerity are sales pitches. I paid $3,290, in full, on my credit card. "Very dumb

— I could have paid in increments — and could have later stopped any further payments. "I 'requested' someone fun, who liked to drink socially, who was free to go anywhere, and liked nice cars. The matches were nowhere near the mark. I'd been scammed."

Cheri had her attorney write the service a letter but got no response. She complained to the Better Business Bureau, the Attorney General's Office, the Irvine Police Department Fraud Division and the Orange County District Attorney's Office. There had been seven complaints against the company in two years.

She decided going to court wasn't worth it. "I still get letters from them stating, 'We know you're disappointed, but we pride ourselves on making our client's happy. Would you like to unfreeze your membership?'...yeah, right.

Did Charlie Manson just get paroled?" Cheri said. Most local dating services charge from $500 to $5,000, depending on how much "service" you want. But you can spend far more than that.

A company out of Chicago called Selective Search charges a yearly retainer fee of $15,000 to $25,000. And Orly, a Beverly Hills dating service, has this on their Web site: "Orly receives up to $200,000 per client, depending on geographic location and desired selection criteria."

Maybe that's what they charge for a date with the Queen of Siam. Patrick, 60, Laguna Beach, was offered a free membership in "a very well-known service (Patrick's words). "My instructions were not to spend too much time on the phone but make a date and take the woman to dinner. It was stressed to me that there were an abundance of women who had paid big bucks to be in this service but few men. "I was fired from my 'free job' because I wouldn't cooperate. I wanted a picture of a potential date, but was told it wasn't possible, the ladies were paying to be discreet. I think the services are a joke.

Save your money ladies and join a gym." John, Newport Beach, said, "I tried two dating services a couple of years ago and found them to be a rip-off, particularly for older people.

All they were interested in was signing me up and getting the fee." Jan, Tustin, said, "I have friends who have tried dating services and were almost always disappointed with the results. The services do not guarantee results for the hefty fees they charge. A service simply cannot replace personal contact and chemistry." Dating services are only as good as the clients they sign up. Many have bad reputations and most are expensive.

Before committing, investigate other options for meeting potential mates. Cheri added, "You can't buy love! Or fun, for that matter!" Weekly comments: Cat, Aliso Viejo: "I'm amazed at some California men. At the Mission Viejo Mall, I overheard a not terribly attractive, short man saying how he has to have a young, beautiful, buff girl on his arm — makes all the other men look at him and say 'Whoa, lucky guy!' I saw him later, he was a salesman (in a mall store)."

Response: There are dreamers everywhere. Reality, well, that's another issue. Class offered: Internet dating class taught by Christine Stieber, 6:30-9:30 p.m., Tuesday, Nov. 5, city of Anaheim Adult Education. Information: (714) 765-5228. To comment on Middle Age Relationships, e-mail TPBlake@aol.com or write P.O. Box 442, Dana Point, CA, 92629.
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