Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior dating. This column's topic:

Don't Let Dating Opportunity Go Unanswered

BLAKE: adviser on middle-age relationships

By TOM BLAKE For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers

Older singles frequently ask, "Where can I go to meet somebody?" Doug Spoors, a Laguna Hills attorney, shared this story about his mother, Frances Pendergrass, who, at age 74, found love again.

A year after Frances was widowed, Doug visited her in Fresno over Thanksgiving.

They stopped at McDonald's for lunch.

At the restaurant, she recognized a man named Loren, whom she remembered from the Mosqueda Seniors, where she had been a supervisor before retiring.

"Mom walked right over to him and re-introduced herself," Doug said. "When she came back to the table, she told me Loren's wife had died a year earlier.

"I told her if she was interested in Loren, she shouldn't pass up an opportunity to invite him to church, out for coffee, or something," said Doug.

"Mom questioned whether it was too soon after Loren's wife had died. I told her you can't control when opportunity knocks, and if you don't answer the knock, it may not return."

When Loren passed by the table to say goodbye, Doug introduced himself and said, "Before you leave, I think you should have my mother's phone number."

Loren said, "I was hoping I could get that, and was going to give Frances my number anyway." Pretty good for an 84-year-old guy.

That night, Doug slept in the room where his deceased stepfather, Lupe, had often prayed. Lupe had been a deeply religious man and Doug and his brothers had been fond of him.

"I had a dream," Doug said. "In the dream, Lupe said to me, 'Tell her it's OK, tell her to go ahead.'"

"The next morning, I told Mom of the dream, and that gave her great comfort -- in exploring a relationship with Loren."

The following Sunday, Loren took Frances to church.

Later, Frances telephoned Doug and told him she felt like a kid and it felt wonderful.

Six months later, Loren and Frances were married.

"They are happy, secure and delighted that on that day when opportunity knocked, both of them didn't hesitate," said Doug.

Then Doug added, "Losing Lupe was very difficult, we all loved him dearly. But recognizing that life in this world is not forever, and the living must live, we make room for new circumstances to come into our lives -- not to replace the old ones."

What a beautiful story from a loving son. Older singles -- men and women -- can learn from it.

Don't give up hope, even when you're alone and lonely. Get out among people. Be active. Have a positive attitude and a bounce in your step.

Make yourself approachable by smiling and being friendly.

Be assertive when the opportunity to meet someone presents itself. If you don't initiate contact because you're shy or you don't know what to say or do, you may lose that opportunity forever. As Doug said, you can't control when opportunity knocks.

So, what's the answer to the question, "Where can I go to meet somebody?" Everywhere! You need to be out among people.

Maybe your new love is sipping a milkshake right now at your local McDonald's, Burger King or Carl's Junior.

You never know.

Weekly comments

Gina, Long Beach: "I think people need to stop judging others' relationships and put that energy into making sure that they are true to their own partner." Response: Amen.

Eileen, San Clemente: "I have nothing against people who hold opinions different from mine. I respect that. I just wish that they wouldn't be so darn self-righteous about it."

Note from Tom: Fun and unique date idea: Take your sweetie kayaking in Dana Point Harbor. Call George at UP Sports, 443-5161, for rental and touring information.

To comment on Middle Age Relationships, e-mail TPBlake@aol.com or write P.O. Box 442, Dana Point, CA, 92629. Please include your full name and city of residence.