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Finding love after 50. The website for middle aged singles and senior singles, providing information and dating advice for middle age dating and senior
dating. This column's topic: How dating has changed compared to when we were younger and dating as kids.
I host a discussion forum called "Dating After 50" on Thirdage.com.,a lively and informative website for people middle
aged and older.
ThirdAge asked my opinion on the most surprising things that have changed for people who are dating again compared to when they were young. A few of the
changes follow.
Women will be surprised at:
1. Their changed roles. No longer is a woman expected to wait for the man to make the first move. Not only is it acceptable for a woman to initiate a
date, it's survival because as we age, there are so many more single women than men. To compete, women need to be willing to pick up the phone, or approach a man in
public, and yes, to pick up the tab for a date.
2. How hard it is to find available men. In high school, all of the single kids could meet at the dance in the gym. There's no gathering place like that for
middle-agers. Women must be creative in the places where they go to meet a man.
3. How many men play games. Some men have reverted back to high school behavior-being cool, not being honest, making false promises. Women
need to weed out the jerks to find the gems. Men will be surprised at:
1. The more enlightened behavior of women. Many men are still old-fashioned and think in traditional ways. They have trouble accepting that they
aren't "in charge" like they used to be. Until men accept and welcome the new roles women pursue, they may find their love lives frustrating.
2. The cost of dating. Dinner and a show aren't a few bucks anymore. Could be $50-$60. When women offer to share some of the expenses, men
may be pleasantly surprised.
3. The changes dating again reveals. Johnny Mathis has given way to Jennifer Lopez; sexually-transmitted diseases can now be a death sentence;
and, there's a dating tool called the Internet which can help them reach out around the world to find a mate.
Both sexes will be surprised to find out how unprepared they are to resume dating. They won't know how to begin, whom to ask, whom to trust and
what to do.
They will be surprised that the question they'll most frequently ask is: where should I go to meet someone? They'll also be surprised that that's the hardest
question to answer.
My reply: "Get off the couch, out of the house and pursue interests that you enjoy. Don't go out with the sole purpose of trying to meet a mate. You'll
come off as desperate and it won't work."
I suggest you give Thirdage.com a try. There are numerous discussion forums from which to choose, with
topics reaching beyond dating and relationships. These aren't chat rooms, you just leave messages for each other that everyone can read.
Go to www.thirdage.com. Click on "discussion forums". My category is called Romance and Sex. Click on the Dating
folder and you'll see 18 dating discussions. My forum, "Dating After 50," is listed first. You might be pleasantly surprised.
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