Dating in the workplace is risky business
Dating in workplace fraught with peril
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers
As singles grow older, finding people to date becomes progressively more difficult.
Singles need to be creative in searching out places to meet other singles.
Peggy, of Anaheim e-mailed, "Work is a great place to meet men. What are the downfalls of dating within the workplace?"
Peggy explained, "I'm an emergency room nurse with policemen, firemen and paramedics coming and going all day. Most of them are young and the ones that are my age are either married or 'looking for a good time,' not a relationship."
There are many stories of people who met at work, fell in love, and went on to have successful relationships. So, dating at work can and does happen, but the downside is greater than the upside. Here are a few items to consider.
If you date a co-worker on a regular basis, how do you keep it private? Somebody will see you together, and then the entire office will know you're dating. You'll be under a microscope, and rumors will fly.
An office romance can be wonderful — you see each other every day — as long as it works. But, what happens when things sour? When you see the person in the hall, the cafeteria, or at a meeting, it'll be awkward.
You'll curse yourself (and probably him or her) for having been involved.
In my young and foolish days in the corporate world, I left a note on a
woman's desk, asking her for a date. The note blew off her desk, and ended
up in the office jokester's hands.
He posted it on the company bulletin board. Speaking of embarrassment.
When couples fall in love at work, often company policy will force one of
them to leave. In that case, someone's career goes on the back burner. And
what happens later to that person if the relationship doesn't work out?
Some companies, including most military installations, forbid their
workers from dating fellow employees. The risk of collusion and security
compromises is too high.
Most bars and restaurants won't hire couples. Cocktail servers and
bartenders working together can easily rip a place off. And if the couple
fights, it makes everyone around them uncomfortable.
When I worked for the Victoria Station restaurant chain in the 1970s, I made an exception to the company's "no couples" rule, by allowing a husband and wife to work in my restaurant.
They started having problems.
One day, she was seated at the bar; he felt she was flirting with a
customer. He walked over and walloped her off the barstool. I had no
choice but to terminate them both.
"It's Just Lunch," a dating service in Los Angeles and Newport Beach, conducted a survey and found that 94 percent of men and 81 percent of women said they don't date co-workers. But almost 40 percent of each sex admitted they had. I guess most of them found out it was a bad idea.
Dating someone at work can be tempting, but it's best to look beyond the workplace.
Weekly comments:
Mona, Laguna Beach, at Costco, in San Juan Capistrano: I had a date with you years ago when I lived in Newport Beach." Response: "I remember. At least your dog liked me."
Angel, Fairbanks, Alaska: "I'm 51 and date men from 45 to 61. I have more in common with the men who are more active and hike, fish, take camera safaris, go to the theater or dinner." Response: Sounds like there's lots to do in Fairbanks. Do they ever pick you up in a dogsled?
Betty, Laguna Niguel: Walking groups in Dana Point Harbor: Fleet Feet meets at 8 a.m., Monday, Wednesday and Friday outside the Brig restaurant. Sea Country Senior Center walks at 9 a.m. Tuesday and Thursday outside El Torito. South Coast Medical Center group, 9:45 a.m. Tuesday and Thursday outside of the Brig. I doubt if any walkers in those groups are under age 65."
Response: The more power to them for exercising.
| 