Blue - and White - Collar Relationships Seem 'iffy'
By TOM BLAKE
For The Register's South County Weekly Newspapers

"Can white-collar workers have successful relationships with blue-collar workers?" I presented that question to several readers, many of whom shared their experiences and opinions. Some said yes, others no.

Bobbi, Mission Viejo, e-mailed: "I've always been in a 'white-collar' career and married to blue-collar men. I find them more appealing than white-collar professionals. They're more masculine, creative and entrepreneurial. Often, they're in their blue-collar world because they're too independent to fit into the white-collar corporate structure.

"I don't think the marriages failed because we didn't understand each other's 'career worlds,' but more because of personalities and coping styles."

Considering himself a blue-collar guy, Stan, Aliso Viejo, said, "I married a successful mortgage broker who makes close to $100,000 a year. Our divorce had nothing to do with money. White and blue can fit together."

"The color of the collar holds no importance for me," wrote Florence, Orange. "It can work if the people have a strong personal relationship and share common interests/hobbies. Problems could arise if the white-collar female is promoted and her position requires a high level of socialization with customers, upper management or peers.

Jan, Tustin, e-mailed, "I don't think differences in background are as much a problem as how one carries himself or herself. I know well-educated people in high places who, despite their education and positions, have manners so crude, rude and abrasive, they'd embarrass a farm animal."

Jan added, "Not to mention they think people are beholden unto them because of their position, education or wealth -- a surefire way to end a date or relationship."

Commenting about blue-collar women dating white-collar men, Mary, Costa Mesa, said, "Double standards seem to be the key word. It's OK for men to date 'up' but women aren't allowed to, they're called 'gold diggers.' "

No problem, however, for Jean, Orange: "I'm married to a blue-collar man. It works at this age and would have worked in earlier years as I never wanted a man in a job where I had to inflate his balloon because he was more important than I."

Not everyone felt white-blue relationships work.

Lisa, Costa Mesa, e-mailed, "I dated a blue-collar guy for years. I have two master's degrees. We had our differences, which made living together and commitment impossible. We were worlds apart and it was difficult to relate -- especially the differences in education and articulation levels."

Jennifer, Irvine, said, "I think it helps if the man's income is comparable to the woman's. If people are compatible in most other important areas -- temperament, political views, family values, cultural background, sexual attraction -- then incompatibility in class may not be important."

In all of the responses, the most important word was "if." Yes white-collar dating blue-collar can work, "if" a host of other factors fall into place.

Weekly comments

Shirley, Greenwich Village, New York:"I can't agree with you about the movie 'Something's Gotta Give.' It's a movie, not life. It was contrived and a myth."

Personal of the week

"Enthusiastic/active Dana Point woman 50s, tall, slim and fit, seeks gentleman with same qualities."

Interested? E-mail Tom at TPBlake@aol. com

Contact Blake at TPBlake@aol.com or write to P.O. Box 442, Dana Point, CA 92629. Include your full name and city.
Web site: www.findingloveafter50.com