Finding Love After 50

Widows and divorced women: Dating tips on how to get that second date with a guy you like.  Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged singles boomer singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.



Widows and Divorced Women Tips

You had a first date with a man. You like him, how do
you get him to ask you out again?

- Be positive, upbeat, and enthusiastic. No woe-is-me
stories or pity-pot whining. Make eye contact.
Smile. Be friendly. Be yourself

- Be a good listener. Ask questions about him.
Avoid talking too much, and don't talk about
your ex (widows take note), If he asks about your ex, be honest,
but don't dwell on how good or bad they were.
Briefly answer, and then bounce a question back to him

- Show interest, but don't gush. Compliment him on
something-assuming there is something, or you
wouldn't want to go out with him again-like his
shoes, shirt, haircut, or smile. Don't paw him.
Guys think women who touch too soon or too
much are suggesting intimacy. On the other hand,
don't be as cold as a Lake Superior Whitefish

- Criticize nothing. If his clothes are outdated,
don't tell him. You'll be able to improve his
wardrobe after you become a couple

- Use proper etiquette. Dress appropriately for
the occasion. Avoid eating spinach or anything
that might stick in your teeth. No lipstick or
eye pencil at the table. No toothpick going out
the restaurant door. Don't gob on the makeup; some
women look better without much. Don't
study yourself in the sun visor mirror of his car

- Avoid ordering the most expensive items on the menu.
A glass of house wine is fine-you don't need
Sonoma County's Kendall-Jackson grand
reserve chardonnay

- Don't be confrontational or argumentative.
Don't proclaim, "I hate sex," or,
"No sex for six months," or some other turnoff.
Unless you mean it. And if you do, you may
not get a second date with him

- Don't name-drop, or talk about your wealth,
or lack thereof. He'll find out soon enough,
and if he likes you, it won't matter

- When the date is winding down, be assertive
(not aggressive) by saying something like,
"I'm going to a movie" or, "on a picnic
Sunday, would you like to join me?"
Don't leave it open-ended by saying,
"Let's get together sometime." Look him
in the eye and say, "I had a great time.
We clicked. I want to see you again."
Give him a hug. Be sure he has your
phone number.

If you follow these tips, and he still doesn't
ask you out again, forget him, he's not the right
guy for you. You put your best foot forward,
you wouldn't want to be with somebody who
doesn't want to be with you.

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